Pet Peeves II

Jean: I’d like to follow up on ticket # blah blah
HD: What is this about?
Jean: Um, can you pull it up please?
(Read the ticket out loud)
Jean: I would just like to clarify if this really needs approval from my senior manager. It’s just to create a distro.
HD: (still reading the ticket…) ah so you’re requesting to create a distro…
Jean: (interrupting…) who replied to the ticket? Coz you’re asking for a manager approval eh I’m a TM trainee. Do you need it?
HD: Ahh so you’re JUST a TM trainee…nope, we don’t need it. We can process this…
Jean: (interrupting again….) uhm no. I AM a TM trainee not JUST one.
(talk about power tripping, man.)
HD: We’ll just go ahead and process the request and reply to the ticket.
Jean: Ok. Thanks.

After a few minutes I received an email confirming that the request has been completed and I was asked to refresh my Outlook contacts and the distro should be there.
Refreshed it, closed and launched Outlook but the distro list is still not there. So I called again and the same person answered.

HD: Yes Jean?
Jean: How long does it take for the distro to take effect coz I’m not seeing it?
HD: It usually takes just a few seconds. You should see it. Just refresh your contacts.
Jean: I already did a few times and it’s still not there.
HD: Ahh, lemme check. Um I see it on my end. I’m able to expand it. The distro is there.
Jean: Um I don’t see it nga eh.
HD: It’s here. I see it on my end. Maybe you can try again after a few more minutes.
Jean: Um, that was my original question right? How long will it take?
HD: Um yeah…I see it on my end so just wait for a few more minutes. But it’s here.
Jean: What’s the use of the distro to me if you can see it and I cannot? I just asked how long it would take. Anyways, I’ll wait. Thanks.

Haller?? O sige kita mo ang distro, ikaw ba gagamit? Sana maisip mo na ako nga hindi ko nakikita eh tapos you’ll insist na you’re seeing it?! O sige, ikaw magsend ng email ko. Tsaka my first question was, gaano katagal bago mag-take effect. Don’t tell me things I do not need to know. Hrmpht.

Weekends

May 17 - Sunday
Na-kidnap ni Mandap for a midnight coffee. Napadpad kame sa south at dahil past midnight na, sarado na ang mga Starbucks down south. Hoping na the farther we go, may makikita kameng Starbucks na open, nakarating kame sa Petron SLEX. Mandap had ice cream while Goya and I settled for Petron Treats’ iced coffee. It wasn’t the same as a Starbucks experience pero ok na din ang bonding.

May 23 – Saturday
Nag staff breakfast kame sa Salcedo Park. Kris, Mitch and Katch kasama si Kiddie. Nakita namen ang isa sa mga naging managers ko, si Densho. After eating, bumalik ako sa trabaho. Medyo loser weekend. He he

May 30 – 31 Saturday to Sunday
Offsite ng Mandapackers sa Lago de Oro. See previous blog entry for full details. May illegal detention pa ng isang friend, si Goya sa Greenbelt pagbalik namen sa Manila ng Sunday. Gabi na nakauwe so borlogs na agad.

June 6 - Saturday
Ops Movie at Glorietta. Nanood sila ng “Drag Me To Hell” while I was finishing up work at the office. After the movie, I met up with Kris, Mitch, Ty, Tracy, Cat, DP, Bhing, Karlo, and Anj (Karlo’s GF). Had a few drinks at Guilly’s then hatid ni Kiddie sa house.

June 13 - Saturday
Attended Penoy’s 1st Birthday at Magallanes na star studded din with Ops. After the party, nag jill out kame sa Rockwell. DP, Bhing, Goya, Me and Cat. After ng tambay (mangga and beer combo trip), we went to Centerstage para mag videoke! Ang pinaka mahal na jill out ever. Hindi pa nakuntento, sumugod pa sa Carafe for a drinking session with the birthday girl’s parents and other friends. More than 24 hours akong gising nun! Kapoy kaayo.

June 21 - Sunday
Nag-crave si Mandap ng sisig nung afternoon therefore nagkaroon ng instant gimmick nung gabi. Whistlestop with Mandap, Ty and Tracy para salubungin ang birthday ni Mandap. Natuwa sa Tanduay ice at FB with their free WiFi.

IF THE SHOE FITS, WEAR IT

I’ll say this for the last time.

I understand where you’re coming from….totally! Because we’ve been there once too many. Alam naman natin na in the end, sarili mo pa din ang susundin mo pero kailangan ko lang ito sabihin. Tama na ang katangahan, pagbulag-bulagan at ang kabobohan. Oo masaya pag kayo lang dalawa sa mundo mo. Masarap yung feeling na parang “kayo”. Pero kahit anong pilit natin, kung hindi ukol, hindi bubukol, diba? Kung ano nga naman ang ikinatalino natin pagdating sa ibang bagay eh ganoon na lang tayo katanga pagdating sa kung paano tumibok ang ating puso. Susmiyo! Para namang hindi pa tayo natuto sa mga karanasan ko.

Kahit ilang beses tayong mag-post sa blog na ito, mag-Twitter, mag post sa FB, mag shout out sa Friendster o mag status sa YM. Kahit gaano kadaming beses nating sabihin sa sarili natin na mali ang ginagawa natin na ultimo sampu ng ating mga kaibigan ay bumubulyaw sa atin na tanga tayo, yung puso pa din natin ang ating pilit na pakikinggan. Kahit deadma na sa kung ano ang sinasabi ng utak natin na alam naman natin na mas tama ito. Eh kasi nga matigas lang talaga ang ulo natin. Pero maniwala ka, hindi ganyang klase ng relasyon ang gusto mo. Kasi ang gusto mo ay yung sa iyo lang, walang kaagaw. Maipagmamalaki mo at wala kang ibang damdaming tatapakan at ultimo sarili mong damdamin ay niyuyurakan na ng pagkukunwaring ito. Madalas man nating marinig ito pero ito pa din ang totoo, we deserve something far better than this! Hell, we deserve the bestest of the best! So, utang na loob! Tama na ang kahangalan, tigilan na ang kabobohan dahil wala itong patutunguhan. Wala.



Talked to myself about it on June 23 at 5:23 pm.
Listening to “Mahirap Magmahal ng Syota ng Iba” - APO

............

Every 30 minutes, a relationship is torn, a heart gets broken, and a person gets hurt. A lover is left behind and another person finds someone else to love or goes back to a past love. Every 30 seconds, sadness kicks in, loneliness and the longing sets in at the same time, the heartache is felt and the pain comes back. But sad to say that no matter how long it would take, the other person will never and so will you.

I miss the little boy.

Pet Peeves

McDo - Kingswood

Pumila ko sa tapat ng counter with 2 other people in front of me. Medyo mabagal ang crew dahil naunahan na ako ng kasabay ko dun sa dalawa pang pila sa magkaibang counter. Nung ako na ang susunod biglang sinabi ni ate na sa ibang counter na lang daw ako pumila.

Jean: Bakit? Eh kanina pa ako nandito.
Crew: Eh kasi po hindi naman talaga ako dito. Sa 8MCDO po ako.
Jean: Eh di sana kanina mo pa sinabi. Kanina pa ko nakapila dito tapos papalipatin mo ako? No, take my order.

To aggravate things, yung customer sa harap ko eh barya ang napiling ibayad. So nagbilang siya at binilang ulit nung crew. In short, lalong tumagal. Pagharap ko sa counter, kinukuha pa ni ate ang baryang iniwan nung isang customer.

Jean: Miss, paki bilisan.
Crew: Eto na nga po, nakikita nyo naman ang bastos nyo naman eh.

Nagpanting ang tenga ko.

Jean: Bastos? Ako? Di mo ba narinig ang sinabi ko? “Paki” nga tapos ako pa ang bastos?

Pagbaba ng tray ni ate, sinabi ko na ang order ko. In fairness nag-try pa si ate na mag-smile habang kinukuha ang order ko. Nung nakumpleto na niya at magbabayad na ako, lumapit sa kanya ang manager.

Jean: Miss (trying to get the manager’s attention), pakisabi sa kanya huwag niyang sasabihan ang kahit sinong customer ng bastos. I wasn’t trying to be bastos kasi nakiusap ako so huwag siyang magsasalita ng ganun.
Manager: Ah sige po ma’am.

Hindi pa natapos doon ang litanya ko. Habang hinihintay ko ang sukli ko:

Jean: You shouldn’t treat your customers that way (directed at the crew while her manager was there).
Pagkakuha ko ng sukli at yung order ko, tumabi ako sa pila sabay huling hirit pa kay ate
Jean: B*tch!
At sabay labas ng establishment.

I swear, pagdating sa mga ayaw kong bagay, madalas ay sa mga fast food crew. I don’t intend to be mean to them because I totally respect their job. I just don’t like it when they are not being efficient considering their line of work is FAST food. Hrmpht.

KFC – Pasong Tamo

I ordered the fully loaded meal but according to the crew, the chicken has yet to come out of the pantry so it would take about 10 minutes. I agreed and told him I’ll just be back for my order. I didn’t want to wait inside the store and carry my incomplete order since I had to buy other things at a nearby convenient store so I told him I’ll leave the plastic at the counter and will come back.

Jean: Iwan ko na lang muna 'to, balik na lang ako. Pwede ko ba makuha yung resibo kasi ayoko dalhin tong number?
Crew: Ay ma’am hindi po puwede. Pag hindi pa kasi kumpleto yung order, sa amin po muna yung resibo.
Jean: Eyng? Bayad na ko diba? Iiwan ko naman yung pagkain dahil hindi mo pa kumpleto. Anong problema kung kunin ko yung resibo ko?
Crew: Eh ma’am hindi nga po pwede kasi hindi pa kumpleto yung order. Eto po yung number.
Jean: Eh ayoko nga bitbitin yang number kasi may pupuntahan pa ko. Nagbayad na ko, akina ang resibo.
Crew: Ma’am hindi po talaga puwede.
Jean: Ah leche. Asan ang manager mo?

Ang ending, I got my receipt. Pambihira, simpleng thinking out of the box lang hindi pa magawa. Ano naman ang kaso kung kunin ko ang resibo lalo na kung fully paid na ko?! Susmiyo.

French Baker – Landmark Supermarket

I gave my order to the cashier and asked how long it will take. She said 15mins so I told her I would come back for it. I went back after more than 15 mins to find out that my order wasn’t ready yet. So I waited at the cash register while they prepared my take out. To my surprise, my food was served on a plate when I specifically said it was to go.

Jean: Miss, sabi ko take out.
Crew: Ah take out po ba? Sandali po papagawa ako ng bago.
Jean: Ha? So another 15mins ulit? Ano ba naman yan, nagmamadali ako.
Crew: Eh kasi po ma’am dine in yung andito.
Jean: Mag-isa lang ako, miss. Alam kong hindi ako kakain dito so bakit ko sasabihin na dine in ang order ko? Pakidalian.

After 10mins at nakikita kong niluluto ang order ko, may mga pasabi ako sa crew na pakibilisan kasi yung ibang order nauuna pa sa akin.

Jean: Miss, bakit yun nauna pa?
Crew: Ma’am kasi pasta lang yun.
Jean: So gusto mo ibahin ko order ko para madali? Ano ba yan?

The girl had an apathetic facial reaction which added to my frustration. Finally, they started packing my food and the manager assisted with my take out. So they brought my order out. Siempre hindi papalagpasin ni Jean so I called the manager.

Jean: Excuse me, are you the manager?
Woman: Opo.
Jean: Pwes, let me tell you, I’ve been standing here for more than 15 minutes because one of crews made a mistake on taking my order. Never did I hear from her or from you na nag-sorry kayo for the inconvenience. That’s not good customer service, Miss.

Sabay walk out dala ang take out ko.

Mandapackers Offsite | Lago de Oro

Ended our shifts at 6am to join Kiddie and Z for a joy ride...

Bag of Beans (aka Baguio Beans,Tagaytay | Lago de Oro, Batangas | Boutique BnB, Tagaytay | Greenbelt 3, Makati











Knee Boarding - yes that's me! wrong position of the arms...tsk tsk


























Illegal Detention right after LDO. Stayed at Fuzion, GB3. Dinner at Krocs.

Tour of the South

This trip was planned months in advance. It's to celebrate our "Friendship Anniv" coined by reasons I cannot divulge. I need to mention that Bhing treated us to this trip...air fare that is. Thanks, Bhingers!!!

Highlight of this trip was the long awaited white water rafting and the visit to Camiguin Island.

Cagayan de Oro















Camiguin Island













Back home...

Div 5

Had a weekend out of town with the usual ka-Jill Out plus one. Lahat ng gastos ay laging divided by 5 thus the title. Libre dapat ni Goya itong trip na to pero hindi natuloy...

Here are some highlights...

On our way to subic...














What's an out of town trip without a visit to my fave coffee shop...

Christmas @ Work

1-2. Tier 1 Agents taking time out to pose (with their headsets on of course)
3. Jean's Listers - my beloved agents
Last two pictures: NSI Ops (dedicated sups!)

Second Bitch Mark

After 1 year and 4 months, I got me a second tat:



Here's how it went...watch it till the end, you'll see a surprise.

Gone Too Soon

Rouella Javier - Paralejas
1977 - 2008

My Ate Wella in the Javier clan. We grew up at the same time, me, Ate and Don. Whenever there was a special occasion, we would always be together at Mama's house. She never missed an event and she never missed to convince me to go. Especially when we were teens, she would insist that I would be there even when I would be torn between attending that family affair and go out with friends. She's my opposite, my alter ego.
Being the only child, Ate considers me and Don her siblings. I would share stories with her, secrets even. Things that you would tell an older sister because I don't have one. She knew things I would never tell mom. Ate would always listen, she rarely shared her life stories.
Last August, Ate got married to Eric. Her first and last boyfriend. Eric still agreed to marry her even if he knew that Ate was diagnosed with the Big C. She looked very happy that day despite the pain on her right leg. The month after that, Ate's right leg had to be amputated to stop the cancer cells from spreading. Soon after that she started her chemotherapy. After her second session, she started complaining of severe diarrhea so she was rushed to the hospital. She was admitted last Monday and was scheduled to be measured for her prosthetic leg last Wednesday but since she was confined, she never made it to that appointment. She will never make it since last Saturday, at about 10am, ate lost her battle due to cancer.
Mom texted me at about 12nn. I couldn't believe it. I had regrets of not visiting her at the hospital but I guess it's a good thing since my last memory of her was on the happiest day of her life, her wedding.
When I got to the wake, I couldn't look at the coffin. I hugged tita first and before I knew it, tears started falling. I lost my Ate, I lost my friend.

Ate, I know you're happier now. Continue watching over us just like you did when you were here on earth. Say hello to dad, papa, mama and Kuya John. I will miss you but I will see you someday.

Wish List 2008

Dear Santa,

I have been a good girl this year so here's a list of what I want:

1. Nice boxes where I can store my DVDs (madami sa Tickles nito or sa Papemelroti)
2. Bulletin Board (sa National Bookstore; mga 1/2 illustration board ang size)
3. Scrap Book materials pangdecorate ng bulletin board (sa Natio din meron)
4. Kingston SDHC 8G from CDR King


5. Tungsten Flash Disk 4G or 8G from CDR King


Love,
Jean





UPDATE:

Number 4 and 5 have been granted. Yey! Lance will be happy.
Add No. 6 Smart Bro Pre Paid Kit!!!

Baby Boy Quianzon-Salientes

The first ever baby of the barkada will be coming out soon. To help the first couple get started, we had a surprise baby shower for Cho and Mato.

Yellow Cab, Mega Mall
3pm, 11.26.08


L-R: Mato, Chicho, Den, Mark, Tin, Toots, Jor, Mike, Me
Seated L-R: Mals and Mel


That's the barkada with the boys...minus Joyce (we miss you gurl!)


Me with the mommy-to-be

What's In A Name?

What Jean Means

You are fair, honest, and logical. You are a natural leader, and people respect you. You never give up, and you will succeed... even if it takes you a hundred tries. You are rational enough to see every part of a problem. You are great at giving other people advice. You are friendly, charming, and warm. You get along with almost everyone. You work hard not to rock the boat. Your easy going attitude brings people together. At times, you can be a little flaky and irresponsible. But for the important things, you pull it together. You are usually the best at everything ... you strive for perfection. You are confident, authoritative, and aggressive. You have the classic "Type A" personality. You are very intuitive and wise. You understand the world better than most people. You also have a very active imagination. You often get carried away with your thoughts. You are prone to a little paranoia and jealousy. You sometimes go overboard in interpreting signals.

What's Your Name's Hidden Meaning?

- Totoo noh?

Weekend Jill Out

Jill Out - hindi ito typo. yan ang term namen, walang makiki-alam.

Nagising ako sa tawag ni Goya...pasado alas nuebe na pala eh nakahilata pa ako. Gumising na daw ako at susunduin na nila ako in a bitch. Di nya sinabi kung saan kame pupunta at kung ano ang gagawin. Ako naman, isang kaladkarin, naligo na at naghintay sa susundo. After about an hour, nagkita-kita na kameng apat.

"Manong, Roxas Blvd po." pupunta kame sa Manila Ocean Park!!! Yey!



Dahil sa sobrang gutom ko, napilit ko silang kumain muna. We went to Ozeano for their Eat All You Can buffet lunch. Sulit naman ang P595. Nilapitan kame ng mga musikero. Mag-request daw ng kahit anong kanta. Humirit ako ng "Umbrella", aba akalain mo nakanta nila ng mahusay. He he




After an hour of eating, we went down para ma-sight ang mga isda. Nothing extraordinary. Personally it was overrated. I was expecting more from what I saw. Hindi nakatulong na ang mga kasabayan namen eh saksakan ng jologs. Isa sa mga pet peeves ko, mga taong walang pakialam sa mga taong nakapaligid sa kanila. Walang kiyeme kung may ibang taong nakapila at gusto din makita kung anuman ang tinitignan nila. Eto pa, newly born baby nasa ganung lugar? Haller?! Parents, what were you thinking?! So after mga isang oras na pagtitiyaga sa dami ng tao...natapos din kame.











Next stop: Luneta Park. Promise! Nilakad namen papuntang park para pagbigyan ang kahilingan ni Goya na magpalipad ng saranggola ni pepe. Sa halagang P40 natupad ang pangarap niya. Habang sila ni Bhing eh nagpapalipad, kame ni DP ayun, nakaupo sa bench at nagyosi. After nila mapagod, hindi namen pinalagpas na magbigay pugay kay Jose Rizal. Pinuntahan namen ang monumento niya. Picture dito, picture doon. Sayang hindi na pwede lapitan yung mga guwardiya niya.






Nagpahinga kame sa, saan pa? Starbucks. Nagmuni-muni sa ginawa nameng historical tripping. Kung nagagawa nga namen bumisita sa iba't-ibang parks ng Pilipinas, bakit nga ba ngayon lang namen nagawang bumisita sa Luneta Park, lumayo pa kame diba?


Hindi makukumpleto ang jill out kung hindi mapapagbigyan ang hiling ng lahat. Turn naman namen ni DP. Ako, mag-videoke habang si DP, uminom. Nagpunta kame sa Providence, mura na ang beer, makakakanta ka pa! Namaos kameng apat sa pagbirit ng Better Days...ang score?! 98! ha ha ha









Na-enjoy ko ang jill out na yun. Sabi nga ni DP, dapat pag rest day daw eh gagawa ka ng bagay na hindi mo usually ginagawa sa buong work week mo. Siguro naman pwede na yung ginawa namen para ma-relax naman?




Hanggang sa susunod na jill out....

Araw ni Dada

i decided not to join the crowd in paying their respect to those who have passed by visiting my dad today. i woke up really early to prepare knowing that i would spend a good hour just travelling from makati to rizal. then i realized it was a sunday so there should be no traffic. i left the house and took a cab to galleria then rode the bus going straight to the cemetery. it had been long time since i travelled that road. well, the last time was a year ago. i had no second thoughts about going since it was dada whom i'll be visiting (no offense, ma).

i was right, there was no traffic. i got to the cemetery after 30mins. i've been watching too many episodes of CSI so walking the path towards dada's grave wasn't a walk in the park. i had crime scenes going through my head. when i got to my relatives' museleum, there he was lying beside my aunt where my kuya john used to lay. i put my bag down and brought out the candles that i just bought at a nearby convenient store. weird thing was i couldn't get it to light. it was windy but what's more weird was there was a lit candle on our neighbor's museleum. i attempted a few more times but still had no luck. i started thinking maybe dada didn't really want me to light them.

so i lit a cigarette instead. yeah, dad knew that i still smoked on the first night of his wake (first time was when he was called by the dean when i was in college because i was caught smoking in campus). i smoked outside with my friends while my relatives were still busy arranging dada's wake. i made sure i would light one whenever i visited him alone. i guess it's my way of letting someone in the family know that i inherited his bad habit (i'm still in denial whenever my mom would fish if i smoked or not. she would then start nagging me about how bad smoking is for my health and start reminding me of how dad had to go cold turkey when he found out about his diabetes)

so i said a silent prayer and started talking to him in my head. said sorry for not really looking after mom and for still being mad at kuya up to now. somehow i think he understood coz the wind blew really strong after that. it was a very comforting strong wind. that was enough acknowledgment for me so i called ma to say that i was on my way home.

it's been more than 7 years since he passed. every so often he would visit me in my dreams and when i would tell ma, she would get envious because dad never visited her even in her dreams. i guess it just goes to show that dada is still watching over us and that i would never stop being his little girl.

Mean Jean Strikes...

when i was in elementary and highschool, i used to think i could please everyone. i tried hard to get on everyone's good side to a point that i became a push over.

when i was in college, things were different. it felt like it was the other way around. it was the people around me who needed to please me. ganun ang tingin nila sakin kasi may katungkulan ako then.

i guess it carried over when i joined the ranks. lalo na when i got promoted. i guess totoo na ang pinoy mahilig sa crab mentality. it wasn't an easy ride coz a lot were questioning my ability to lead pero what the heck, i proved them wrong. i tried not to step on anyone and worked my way to get to where i am. a lot of people didn't like how i carried out my responsibilities but i know i was one of the damn best in my line of work!

kaya minsan it's sad to hear when other people question my ability. sino ba naman ang hindi mafi-feel bad? lalo na when i know i spent every waking hour of 7 years of my life serving the company and doing what i know i do best. yes, i slip and make mistakes, i know i'm not perfect pero i make sure i compensate for it in other things,

through the years, i've learned how to pick my battles. zone out on things that would do me no good and tune in to more constructive ways of how i can continue doing my job. i've learned to realize that this is not highschool wherein i should be pleasing everyone. i know i cannot do that. this is probably all that you're gonna get from me regarding this topic so hopefully you would return the same treatment.

the next time you throw something at me, think really hard and make sure it's something i cannot throw back at you or better yet, try saying it to my face. let's see if you can handle the truth.

Usapang Lasing

M: I'm not sleepy na, shot tayo?
G: Cge, shot tyo.
M: yeah, it's not d same :(
(nag-shot talaga si G)
---------------------
G: Lasing n yta ak?
M: Huh? Ambilis nman. Bkt?
G: Ewan ko? Wlang practice, hehe
M: Tigilan mu ko...lastwk lang uminom ka noh.
G: Hehe, lastwk b yun?
G: Shot na kc tyo?
M: i want to, G. As if pwde?
G: Oo nga eh, wrong tyming, txt kta pag punta ak ofis ah
M: Eh kala ko b sshot? Panu sshot c J kng sa ofc punta c G?
G: Sympre ppkta ko otats ko, hehe..
M: Ok malabo ka na kausap, ayaw na. Ure nt answering straight.
-----------------------
G: Lasing na ko,
M: Ewan.
G: Haha, lasing nko, hehe
M: Oo na, cge na. Wag ka na magtext..
G: Y nman?
M: Coz ure drunk nd we're not making sense anymore?
G: Haha..I'm not.
M: Anung ure not? Kaw nagsabi ure drunk na...labo.
G: Haha.. mejo lng.
M: G, stop replying na. Uminom ka nlang jan, ok.
G: Haha. E wla ako mkausap e..ok lng?
M: No! It's coz ure going arnd in circles...kulit.
G: Haha, lasing eh.
M: Fine. Cge, what do u wanna talk abt if u dnt wnt 2 stop texting?
G: He he...ewan? Uminom? Haha..
M: Eehh ure so makulit na.
G: Hehe, slyt lng
M: Nonsense na G, oh..
G: Hehe, e wla mgwa eh
M: Kala ko ba ure drinking?
G: Kya nga eh, hehe
M: Huh? Hay nman...hirap kausap. hu hu
G: Ha ha.. Lasing eh
M: So can we stop texting na?
G: Y nman? Mkulit nb ak?
M: Opo eh :(

~ and yes the conversation went on and on and on...

My Accomplishment for the day....

G, look!!!

Conversations...

M: gud morning. fell asleep lastnyt...wd d lights on! Pati tv at dvd naiwan bukas...hehe
G: morning. he he..hnd nman yta obvious n scary tlga? hehe...rd b today?
M: hehe...yeaup, rd na. Aga mu nman magcing?
G: naks! sarap nman, rd! he he, nggcng lng ak tpos mkk2log ak ult mya2, d2 pko s rum eh.
M: Ay sori did i wake u up...ang rd ko 2days lng..rd mu mas matagal..hehe
G: Hnd nman, knina pko ngcng, pero nkhga pdn ak, tntmad pko 2myo, hehe
M: Kakatamad kumilos noh? It's raining here pa...bed weather..hehe
G: Kya nga, sarap humiga mghpon? hehe tlgang bed weather ah,
M: Let's yosi...
G: Tara? Hehehe...
M: Just finished, tagal mu sagot eh..he he. So pde ka na ult magyosi anytime?
G: Pwd na, nk2log ak ult, hehe..kkgcng lng ulit..hehe
M: Sarap nman nun...hehe
G: Hehe..2myo na ak, nggu2m nko eh...hehe
M: ok po, eat na po kaw...enjoy.
G: kain lng po ak bread nd milk, l8r n po ak eat ng rice...
M: Milk? Baby boy? ha ha ha
G: Hot milk, hehe
M: Cute.
G: Hehe..prang baby lng noh? Hehe
-------------------
G: It's so nkktmad, kya lng kailngan mgpunta s hosptal eh, ppvaccine c baby,
M: Ikaw or ung real baby? He he..okie, ingat po.
G: Ung real baby noh, hmp. Hnd nman ak baby, icip baby lng. hehe..
M: Haha...umamin. beh
G: Haha...slyt lng..
------------------
G: Kain n po ng dner...
M: Hey, ure back...early pa 4dinner tsaka not hungry yet...been eating chips. im watching my 5th movie na...hehe Entrapment. kaw? eat na
G: Anu? 5th movie na tlga? Ayos ah, movie marathon b?
M: Yep! White chicks..the notebook..stepford wives..entrapment, ay 4th lng pala..hehe
G: Hehe..ayos ah, sinulit ang rd? hehe
------------------
M: G, may rat tlaga!!!
G: Ala, yuck! Ppano nkpxok ung rat? Maliit lng? Buy po kyo ng mouse trap? or mouse poison?
M: Kinda small lng pero rat pa din un!!! Ewwww. Di ko alam panu sya nkapasok. Takot b sla sa malamig? If i kip d aircon on, wlang rat?
G: Ewan lng? Ang alam ko takot cla lyts, buy na po ng mouse trap, bka lumaki pa yan s loob ng apt mo? Mas eow yun,
M: Eeeeehhhhhh, tamad lumabas ng hse. Bukas nlang. Shet, ssleep na naman wd d lyts on :(
G: Opo, no choice tlga, bka nggu2m na cya kya cya lumbas? Hehe..cute nman ng pet mo? Hehe
M: Cute?! Anu cute sa daga?! Waaahh..
G: Hehe, joke lng yun..hehe
M: Di na 2loy ako mka-concentr8 sa muvi. hrmpht.
G: Hehe, ayan na, nasa likod mo na, hehe
M: eeehhh...ayaw na kta kausap...bully! Hrmpht.
G: Ah, joke lng po.. Tom po don't 4get 2 buy mouse trap,
M: Hrmpht. Bully ka. beh.
G: Hnd man po kya..
M: Kumain ka na nga...
-----------------------
M: May name na ung pet ko...MG! hehe
G: MG? Anu kya yun?
M: Duh...o cge para cute...emgee nlang. hehe
G: Haha.. Ang cute nman ng pet mo, hehe...
M: Rat pa din!
G: Haha.. Cute nman?
M: Ung name cute...emgee :)
G: Yup2, hehe, kain n po ng dner,
M: Kaw? kk..enjoy.
G: Kaw po b?
M: Still not hungry :)
G: Ngeks? Ngddiet po b?
------------------
G: Morning po..Bed weather pb?
M: Gud morning. Hindi na :( ma-araw na eh..tska may pasok na ko l8r :(
G: Aiy.. How sad nman yun, ok lng po yun..Enjoy ur day, musta pla c emgee? Hehe
M: Breakfast? Nagdrink ka na b ng milk mu little boy? hehe
G: Hehe..Nk2log ak ult, e2 kkgcing lng ult, hehe
-----------------
G: Shot? Hehe..
M: Di pwede sumobra ng shot kc may pasok ako :(
G: Aiy, kalungkot nman yun, shot ak ngyn eh,
M: Ayus..kala ko bawal?
G: Bwal nga, pero msarap ang bwal, hehe..
M: Hala sige...wag masyado uminom ah..hehe
G: Opo, slyt lng nman, hehe..
M: I-shot mu nlang ako..di ako maka-inom d2...sila umiinom :(
G: Cge po, hehe, nk'4 bottles nko, 2 sayo
M: Hehe..more..more
G: Oo nga eh, Png'5 na po,
M: Huy bka sumobra ka ah :p
G: Hnd po, ok lng.
M: O sha...enjoy po! Ingat.
G: Cge po, enjoy din,

Mr. and Mrs. Victor Castrillo

That's the barkada (minus Cho and Joyce) at the wedding.


Congrats, Toots and best wishes Tin!!!

The Birth of J and G

and so we've established the friendship bond. after that tragic incident more than a month ago, we managed to stay in touch. it's sad lang na ang last image ko of him was at the basement. i pretended to be a relative para makapasok. i walked towards him and he looked very pleased to see me. he walked towards me and seemed like he wanted to hug. i managed to hold his hands as he led me to a place where we could talk. he started making kwento about what happened and all i could do was feel sad for him.

sa mga hindi nakaka-alam ng buong storya, wag na! tama na ang publicity na nakukuha ko out of my own actions. besides, it's not my story to tell...

so we managed to stay in touch through text...
nung una kamustahan lang at mga twice or thrice a week lang. hindi pa sya nakaka-get over sa relationship nya with the ex, ang dahilan ng depression niya, so madalang pa ang mga texts. Once he was able to get over it, which wasn't too long, that's when we started texting everday. as in araw-araw! from our morning greeting, sa pagremind na mag lunch na, magdinner hanggang sa pagsabi ng goodnight to each other. kasama na dun yung pag-share ng sentiments with each other, biruan. to a point that we have nicks for each other. He calls me J and I call him G.

may promises of seeing each other para mag shot at magkita na din to catch up. i'm hoping it would be soon para maiba na ang last image ko of him at mapalitan na ng happy at sober na G.

here's looking forward to seeing you soon, G! Sshot na tayo for real!

Damaged

Dreaming comes so easily
'Cause it's all that I've known
True love is a fairy tale
I'm damaged, so how would I know?

I'm scared and I'm alone
I'm ashamed
And I need for you to know

I didn't say all the things that I wanted to say
And you can't take back what you've taken away
'Cause I feel you, I feel you near me

Healing comes so painfully
And it chills to the bone
Will anyone get close to me?
I'm damaged, as I'm sure you know

I'm scared and I'm alone
I'm ashamed
And I need for you to know

I didn't say all the things that I wanted to say
And you can't take back what you've taken away
'Cause I feel you, I feel you near me

There's mending for my soul
An ending to this fear
Forgiveness for a man who was stronger
I was just a little girl, but I can't go back

I must go on...

I Miss Him

Phone calls at night. Nonsense text messages. Movies. DVD marathons at home. Dinners together. Lunch. Breakfast. Merienda. One on one inuman sessions. Mall hopping. Jeepney rides. Takas nights. Joy rides. Yosi puffs. Ayala Ave. 7-11.

Good News | Bad News

+ Chicho and Mato are pregnant na!
+ Tin and Toots are getting married na!
+ Sats and Chris gave birth to Paulie!
+ Ton and Allan are about to pop na!
+ Marcky is coming home on Sept 14!
+ Goya is 25yrs old na!
+ I added him na!
+ He still stares....madalas!



- Lapit na ang 21st
- Si Becky nagtago na
- Love niya talaga eh
- Nagsusup calls pa din

Things To Do Before You Turn 30

1. TRAVEL - Most young people should have the opportunity to see that the world is bigger than Megamall. If you are lucky enough to be> sponsored in making a big trip to the US or Europe,treat it as a learning experience, not just a great opportunity to buy Bass loafers on discount. It is a cliche but true: travel makes history come alive and opens up the mind to countless new experiences. Make sure you can learn from it while you can.
- Check mark on this one. Been around the Philippines and have plans of going out of the country.

2. GET FIT - at 20 losing pounds is like sneezing. There’s hardly any effort involved. At 30, just budging the ripples of fat on your thighs would involved a crane and fork-lift. Generally, the younger you are, the easier it is to reach and maintain optimum fitness. Getting into the habit early on primes and conditions your body so that by 30 at a time when couch potatoes start discovering mysterious aches and pains, you’re in the pink of health. Start living healthier sooner and the benefit will remain with you longer.

- Lost more than 10 pounds, effortlessly, in less than a year. That's not good right? So I guess no check mark on this. Plus, I really cannot see myself keeping fit although I would always think of ways on how I could do it.

3. SAVE OR INVEST MONEY - saving is rarely a priority in your 20s, shopping is. There are many young bright things out there with Prada bags, Maxmara suits and debts that are shoved into a drawer in the hope they would evaporate. Around 30 or thereabouts, the shopping plateau hits. There are life changes: a shift in careers, a marriage, a baby. Follow your mother’s advice and pay yourself first every payday by deducting a percentage that gets debited straight into an account you can’t touch. Not doing without it will train you to live on what’s left. At 30, you’ll be glad you made that early sacrifice. While your peers will be struggling to put something away, you can be secure in the thought that you had a headstart.

- Absolutely no check mark on this! Maybe before I turn 40? 50?

4. LEARN ANOTHER LANGUAGE OR GET ANOTHER DEGREE - the best time to learn another language or get another degree would be when you’re encumbered by job and family responsibilities, with the extra time and energy to work and study at the same time. Acquiring relevant skills and knowledge add up to your value as an employee or manager and brightens prospects for the future.

- Hmmmm....always wanted to but never got to. Let's set this aside for my blog entry 10 years from now.

5. LIVE ON YOUR OWN - some people think independence means not borrowing the car on Saturday night. That’s admirable, but moving out is much more of a learning experience. Paying household bills you’ve racked up, learning how to clean up after your own rubbish without a squadron of maids, even cooking your own meals are lesson well learned far from home. So many young people claim they are the masters of their own destiny but fuss when the maid doesn’t turn the hot water on. Perhaps, the best lesson one can learn in this life is that Mommy and daddy are not always there to pick up after you. Living on your own will teach you that in ways no textbook can and will equip you better for the time when you start a family.

- Ahhhhh....this I have done 2years ago so let's put a big check mark on this one. It's true, it's not easy living alone and it takes a lot of skills and maturity to manage utility bills...daily food...activities and what nots when you're alone. But then again, nothing beats the freedom that you have to do ANYTHING!

6. EXORCISE YOUR GHOST - during your 20s, it’s okay to blame your anger on deprived childhood, cruel friends and traitorous boyfriends. During your 30s, the same excuses sound pretty lame. At some point or another, you will have to be responsible for your own actions. So your parents broke up? So one of your boyfriends jilted you for your friend? So bloody what? Using these creaky skeletons as scapegoats for a miserable existence hardly counts as looking forward.
Get rid of those ghosts that have stubbornly hung over you. They have no place in your tomorrows except as references to periods in your life. Turning 30 means moving on, not pestering with old grievances.

- Too difficult but I totally agree that carrying excess baggages would not do me any good. I've exorcised some of them but not all. Some I've learned to repress.

2 out of 6? Very bad results huh? Guess I haven't done everything that I needed to do and I only have a few days left. Sheesh.

The Reasons Behind The Smile

- Twice na magkasama kame, umuulan.
- He puffs from my cigarette kahit madami kame yosi.
- He's kiddie and maangas at the same time.
- We have the same songs sa phone. Same favorite song. Swear!
- He has 2 cute dimples that show pag nagssmile siya.
- That unique way that he smiles. All teeth showing =D
- The way he stares.
- He drank from my water bottle even if I told him to use a glass.
- The way he was so aliw that we had the same ash tray.
- The way he smells.
- The way he makes pabida. Endearing and not mahangin ang dating.
- I catch him staring at me...a lot! he he he

Here's the common favorite song:

If i had one wish we would be best friends
Love would never end it would just begin
If i had one wish you would be my boo
Promise to love you trust me i'll trust you
If i had one wish we would run away
Makin love all day have us a baby
If i had one wish i'd make you my whole life
And you'd be my wife make it right this time
If i had one wish

I don't even know how we ended upon this road
And even though we are grown girl i just want you to know

If i had one wish we would be best friends
Love would never end it would just begin
If i had one wish you would be my boo
Promise to love you trust me i'll trust you
If i had one wish we would run away
Making love all day have us a baby
If i had one wish i'd make you my whole life
And you'd be my wife make it right this time
If i had one wish we would be bestfriends

Nang ma-experience ang MMC

Isa sa mga secret dreams ko ang ma-confine sa hospital (knock on wood). Since I was younger gustong-gusto ko pumupunta sa hospital para bumisita sa relative or friend na andun. I guess dun ko nakuha ang idea na mag med. Gusto ko ma-confine pero not because of a very serious illness. Yung tipong over fatigue lang or basta minor lang.
I guess it really hits when you least expect it. Halos isang araw ko ininda ang sakit ng tiyan ko thinking it was just related to my monthly period. Nakapunta pa ko ng mall the day before para mag-parlor and even that morning, nagpunta akong SM to buy things for the condo. Nung medyo gabi na, the pain was getting more frequent and severe. Sinabihan na ko ni Depya at ni Friend na magpunta ng MMC pero siempre hindi ako sumunod. Nakaligo pa ko at nakapag prepare for work. I could barely stand up straight sa sobrang sakit. When I got to the office, nakuha ko pa mag log in. Lecheng dedication naman to for work oh. Pero I couldn't bear the pain na, I asked Tere to go with me to the emergency room. I was in the brink of tears dahil nung andun na kame sa ER, I realized hindi ko pala talaga gusto yun. But too late, ayan na ang attending nurse who was asking me these preliminary questions habang namimilipit na ako sa sakit ng tiyan. Bawal magsungit kasi baka kung ano gawin sakin. After the interrogation, pinapunta ako sa Preliminary Care Unit. Dumating si doc at nagsagawa ng kung anu-anong tests. Pindot dito, pindot doon. Muntikan pang maging appendicitis ang prognosis. Nung sinabi na tutusukan daw ako ng suero, hala, muntik na naman ako mapa-iyak. Tinext ko na ang mga dapat i-text pwera si mommy. Kabilin-bilinan ko kay Tere, kahit ano mangyari, huwag na huwag itetext ang mommy ko. Baka mapasugod pa yun sa Makati ng dis oras ng gabi. Much to my disagreement, tinusukan na ko ng butterfly at kinunan ng sangkatutak na dugo. Isang punong syringe ang kinuha ng intern!!! Ah eh, hindi ko ho balak magdonate ng dugo, wala pang isang taon ang tattoo ko.

Walang humpay ang kirot ng tiyan ko. Mas dumalas at lumala yung pain napapasimangot na ang by default kong face na nakasimangot na. Dalawang oras daw para ubusin ang dextrose for my dehydration at kailangan magbigay ng urine and stool sample. Mahirap pala magwiwi ng may nakakabit sayo na suero. Noong una ay ayaw ako bigyan ng gamot for the pain, baka daw buntis ako.
Me: “First day ng period ko today.”
Intern: “Kailangan namen ng urine sample bago ka bigyan ng medicine for the pain, we need to make sure na hindi ka buntis.”
Me: “Eh first day ko nga po tsaka hindi ako naiihi.”
Intern: “Kailangan po talaga makasigurado. Yung iba kasi yan din ang sinasabi eh bawal sa buntis yung Zantac. Kausapin nyo na lang po si doc.”
Me: “Hindi talaga ako buntis, swear.”
Intern: “Wala po bang sexual intercourse?”
Me: “Sige iihi na lang ako.” Lekat tong intern na to ah.
After one shot of Zantac para sa pain at Plasil para daw hindi ako masuka eh mukhang walang effect. Masakit pa din. After severasl minutes, isang shot pa ulit ng Zantac pero wa epek pa din. Sabi ni doc iniintay pa ang ibang result, pag may kakaibang findings eh baka i-confine daw ako. Hala, di ko gustong isakatuparan ang pangarap ko noong mga sandaling iyon.

Makalipas ang almost 3 hours, napagdesisyunan ni doc na i-discharge na ko. Acute Gastroenteritis ang diagnosis. Nagbilin ng mga dapat at hindi dapat gawin at nagreseta ng gamot. Dumating si FD Sup in time for my discharge. Salamat sa Maxicare at wala akong ginastos ni isang kusing. Paglabas na paglabas ay nagsindi agad ako ng yosi. Thank God at hindi uber serious ang sakit ko. Pagdating sa Mercury drug ay gusto ko isumpa si doc. Pagkamahal ng gamot na inireseta niya na kailangan kong inumin for 2 weeks! Nag-please siya so sige, iinumin ko sya religiously for 2 weeks, promise.
Dalawang araw akong hindi nakapasok kasi sa pangalawang araw ay may sudden attacks pa din ng abdominal pains. Yung nireseta ni doc na gamot for the pain ay 3 times a day lang. Kung pwede lang na tirahin siya every time umaatake ang sakit eh baka na-high naman ako. The next day was spent at home, 24 hours akong hindi nagyosi at puro jello and crackers lang ang kinain ko. May times na parang aatake na naman ang sakit pero aabutin siya sa oras ng pag-inom ko ng gamot so nawawala siya. Right now, ayoko na maulit yun. Di ko na rin pangarap na ma-confine kasi scary pala at nakakaburyong magkasakit.

ME Time

After a long time, I had my "ME" time again in my fave mall...Gale. This time mas hi-tech na ko... I had Lance to keep me company.

I remember my frequent "ME" time years ago. I'd stay at Figaro since dito lang pwede mag-smoke na hindi mainit. Yun lang I would smell like an ash tray paglabas ko. Anyways, I'd buy the usual 16 oz brewed coffee, have my handy dandy planner and pen. I'd draft my blogs while puffing smokes. Observe people passing by and eavesdrop on other people's conversation. I would usually do this after work and just hours before going home to Region 4.

Some friends of mine would find it weird na I can stand sitting alone in a coffee shop for hours! Well, for me it's relaxing. It's my time away from work, the office and more stress. It's nothing compared to a relaxing spa massage but hey, it's definitely cheaper.

Lately, I haven't been spending time with myself. Since I became a bankero almost 2 years ago, I would always be with officemates or friends. My "ME" time would be inside my room with my TV. I miss how I have total control of my time. No one to bother me while I create thoughts in my head. Not being forced to have a conversation or go to places I'm not interested in visiting.

There's this urge to spend time alone. Move to a new apartment and live by myself...again.

Negros Occidental 2008

14-March to 18-March

1st stop, Bacolod City.




v






2nd stop, Dumaguete City.

Siesta Fiesta '08

Enjoy the laugh...

New Man In My Life...

I heard about him a few weeks back. They said he was cute, smart, easy to get along with and would go with you anywhere you like. Hmmm...very ideal. I met him a few days after I heard about him and it was instant attraction. I would see him every so often and hear about him from friends and colleagues. As I learned more things about him, the attraction developed into likeness. We went out once or twice with friends and that's when I experienced first hand everything that other people say about him.
They're true! Well, we have some differences but they're nothing that we cannot get used to.

After several days of consulting friends on whether I should take the plunge or not... I did it! I said yes! It's only been a few days that we've been together but we're enjoying each other's company. He has met most of my friends already and they only have good words about him. They actually adore him. I've tried to change some things about him but after some thought, it would be better to leave him just how he is. He has seen most of what I've been through, most of the places I've been to and most of the people I've met.

I'm looking forward to spending more years with him, sharing moments with him and being together for a long time. Before that, I want everyone to meet the new man in my life....LANCE!



Asus EEE PC.
Isn't he cute?

Baguio 2007

1. PS Baguio - what can I say? We checked Myprime while we were there...
2. Me and Goya at Mine's View Park - classic picture. tried to pretend that we were someplace else but the backdrop was a dead give away.
3. At Burnham Park - I didn't include the pic but would you believe we rode the boat?! Ssshhh
4. Starbucks John Hay - it won't be complete without a visit to CJH. which best place to go but to my fave coffee house
5. O Mai Khan - 1st dinner in Baguio. Eat-All-You-Can Mongolian! yum

It was my first weekend rest day and I got to spend it out of town! Looking forward to more places to visit during my rest day. Can't wait!

Food Trips

Pancake House - Petron Station, Buendia

It was a rainy morning when the hungry caloiboi ym-d me. We were supposed to go to salcedo market but decided to have waffles instead. while waiting for him, I bought my recently-discovered "healthy" foodie. Goolai, can be bought at any Petron Treats, Rustan's supermarket or at Landmark supermarket (do i get anything for the ad?). He ordered his golden waffles and I got my cheese waffles both with side orders of bacon. Yum. After breakfast, di pa nakuntento, I bought cheese tarts at Goldilocks! Haay...burp.

Teriyaki Boy - Glorietta

One lazy noon, caloiboi texted. Dapat salcedo market na naman yung target namen but since it was kinda late na, we headed for the mall instead. Believe it or not, first time ko sa Teriyaki Boy. Ssshhhhhh... Oo na. Oo na. Baduy. Pero the Chicken Teriyaki Boy Don wasn't that bad. Filling and tasty but nothing extraordinary.

Food Channel - Market!Market!

That same day, Bunso and I went to Market!Market! to meet with Doc Bobet. After 2 best buys for me and 1 for Bunso, they had me try the Shawarma Rice at Food Channel! First time ko din to and i lurved it. I especially liked how you can get all the garlic sauce that you want and how you can smoke right after eating! Perfect. Oh and after that, we went to Ruins. First time ko din dun pero wala kame kinain. Although nadaanan namen ang Miggy's and I missed their burrito. We passed by Conti's as well and I remembered how yummy their Strawberry Shortcake is.

Aling Nene's and Ineng's BBQ - Market!Market!

One loser restday, Pol and I went all the way to Taguig so I could make him taste the Shawarma Rice. I tricked him in going shopping with me too. Naikot namen yung Fashion Market from end to end! After nun, we had dinner. One of the best kare-kare I've tasted (maybe next to Barrio Fiesta) and BBQ. Sobrang busog! Napa-puff si Pol sa yosi ko. Di pa tapos yun, bought butterscotch bars from the Bacolod kiosk and cinammon rolls as alubong for Bunso. This was something different from my usual Starbucks bonding with my CPA-but-jobless friend! he he he.

But wait!!! There's more!

- Yung stuffed inihaw na pusit sa corner ng Mola St and Pasong Tamo.
- Penny Brown's Smacker! My fave, dark and choco chip with capuccino FIC.
- Instant Mac and Cheese! Kahit hassle magluto, okay lang!
- Red Ribbon's Banoffee Pie pero I like Starbucks' better
- Brooklyn Pizza!

Until the next shift bid, I think yan ang gagawin ko during my loser restdays. Maghahanap ng bagong cravings at favorite na kakainan. Goodluck sa Bora trip ko...

A Long Overdue Explanation

It took a long time but now I can already tell you why. Maybe you didn't see it then. Maybe you were really that insensitive. You were so surprised when it happened you didn't know how to react. So here it is...

You see, you were the perfect person for the job. Caring, thoughtful, attentive, funny, sweet and more. We instantly clicked. You were exactly what I was hoping for. And you knew I was a sucker for those traits that's why you became all of those.

Being the person that everyone thinks you are, you stayed with it. There was nothing wrong anyways. It was the perfect set up for people like us. Or so we thought.

Then the inevitable happened. It wasn't so perfect anymore. I felt it but you didn't. The circumstances at that time were telling me that it was not the way to go. People around me started analyzing the situation. I was told that to you it was nothing. The biggest mistake of my life happened. I F*CKING FELL FOR IT!

So wanting to save myself from more grievances, I cut the ties. Without question or reason because I felt that's how I should deal with it. It was already getting complicated to a point that even you couldn't handle it.

What's worse? Just when it was so complicated, you turned your back on me. You let go. Yes, you tried to remedy the situation. How? By being defensive and washing your hands clean as if you were not involved in any of it. You even made me look stupid in front of others. You let them think that it was all my fault. You stood by that. Then you came back to me asking why I had cut you out? The nerve! Fine. I asked for it. Maybe that's how I wanted it to be.

The difference between us? I took all the shit. I faced everything that was thrown at me. I had to literally move away from where I was very comfortable with. While you...you had your happy ending. How convenient.

So there. That's why. But like what I said, that's all water under bridge now. I just think you should know so my feelings then would be justified. To let you know that I wasn't that unreasonable. And even with recent circumstances, you still prove to be your old you. The same old prick. Nothing has changed. Tsk tsk tsk.

Hopefully, you really have found your happy ending.

No Reservations

You spend half a lifetime shutting people out. You keep your guards down all the time when people try to infiltrate your world. You are careful not to be into deep with acquaintances. Why? Because you are not wired that way. You avoid it because you don't want that commitment. You are afraid because you know that the more emotions you invest, the greater the possibility that you'll get hurt. And you don't like that feeling.

But when you think you are on safe grounds. Just when you think it is okay to put off your inhibitions and you bite the bullet, it happens.

You get disappointed. You get hurt.

Could you be blamed for it? Just because you let them in after trying to protect yourself doesn't mean they can hurt you, right? No. You don't deserve that. You didn't want it in the first place.

So you're back to square one. You put up your defenses again. They try to warm you down and in the process they inject emotional blackmail saying you're too tough, insensitive, harsh, self-righteous and even pretentious. Little do they know that there's something more than that.

Do you owe them an explanation? You ask yourself, why does it happen anyway? Do you really allow them to hurt you? Of course not. It just happens.

But what's important is you cure the hurt yourself. You heal on your own.

In the meantime, they just have to understand that you need to be left alone. Eventually, you'll get over it. Eventually, you'll learn that you can't keep shutting others out. Although when you're done hurting and ready to face them again, the expectation of providing the same intensity of wanting them in your life should be eradicated. Otherwise, the vicious cycle will continue.

Who Moved My Keso?!

Change Happens
They Keep Moving The Cheese - kasi kung constant lang siya, mabubulok. tanggapin mo na yun. the only thing constant in this world is change. it's inevitable.

Anticipate Change
Get Ready For The Cheese To Move - otherwise mapag-iiwanan ka. do not be complacent. dapat always on the go. no one is indispensible.

Monitor Change
Smell The Cheese Often So You Know When It Is Getting Old - it's ok to be paranoid at times. makiramdam ka lagi.

Adapt To Change Quickly
The Quicker You Let Go Of Old Cheese, The Sooner You Can Enjoy New Cheese - this is not bad lalo na kung bulok na yung lumang keso eh aanhin mo pa yun? let go. move on. the grass is always greener on the other side.

Change
Move With The Cheese - hindi naman ito masama lalo na kung ikabubuti mo. be flexible (can you bend like a pretzel?)

Enjoy Change!
Savor The Adventure And Enjoy The Taste Of New Cheese! - have fun! live life to its fullest. all work and no fun equals burnout! be careful not to enjoy it too much kasi mahihirapan ka iwanan.

Be Ready To Change Quickly And Enjoy It Again & Again
They Keep Moving The Cheese - kasi nga dapat exciting ang buhay. pag malapit nang mabulok at wala ka nang magagawa, dapat maghanap na nga ng iba...nang paulit-ulit.

Random Kemerlus

* During one of my friend's ranting... he introduced me to them. Morbid looking creatures but cute.

http://www.ponandzi.com/

* The inday story.

Pumasok si Inday bilang katulong nina Ederlyn last June lang.. Baguhan siya kaya medyo wala pang masyadong alam sa pagiging katulong.. Isang araw, inutusan ni Ederlyn si Inday:"

Ederlyn: Inday! Pagkatapos mong maglaba, linisin mo buong bahay pati kisame at kaskasin mo yung tiles ng dalawang pool! Paliguan mo na yung tatlong aso at magluto ka na ng hapunan dahil maya-maya lang, darating na ang sir mo. Tapos, pumunta ka kina Mrs Rosales, dalhin mo yung apat na malalaking kahon. Bumili ka na din ng isang galing mantika, ketchup, toyo, 10 sardinas, 20 corned beef, 30 century tuna, 15 maling, at isang sakong bigas. Oh, heto pera. Sakto yan. Maglakad ka na lang at strike mga tricycle ngayon, okay?

Inday: **** INA MO!"

Simula nun, dumami na ang nagkalat na text message tungkol kay Inday. Hindi lang yun, Nadagdagan ang mga characters.
Of course andiyan si Ederlyn - ang amo ni Inday
Jhun-jhun - anak ng amo ni Inday
Chakalyn - ang kapatid ni Inday
Si Dodong - ang boypren ni Inday

Funny how this household member brings joy to Filipinos. I'm sure you received a message at one point or another. Lately, she has transformed to this coña because she was sent to Spain to go to the market (huh?)

"La vida no es una bravo actualmente. El dinero es tan duro de pasar. Puede usted bajar el precio parci mi? Soy ya su comprador avido diaro. por favor?"

- sabi ni Inday habang tumatawad sa palengke ng isama sya ng amo nya sa Madrid, Spain.

I'm sure there's a lot more coming... hanggang dito na lang muna. I need to pee.

R.O.F.

A new acronym this week:

R.O.F Renewal of Friendship - this happens after an SOF or EOF but maybe not after a TOF. This proves that there's hope for the flowers. That one should never shut their door on friends.

Drinking Session

When: Sept 22
Where: TownHall
Time: 8pm onwards

It's been a long time since I last celebrated my birthday. This year I just thought of having an intimate drinking session at the apartment. I was hesitant to merge my friends together but I did it. I invited a few people from the Financial vertical, Telecomms and Technical vertical, HS barkada and my fab friends. The apartment wasn't that big and we didn't have a lot of chairs but being the cowboys that they are, they settled on the floor.

I served beer and hard drinks plus chips. My fab friends bought pizza for everyone. Sweet. Somehow solved na sila dun. Oh, let's not forget the videoke with 10,000 songs! Yep, i think that's how they bonded and not because it was my birthday. He he.

To those who were there, thank you. The reason why you were invited is because you were part of my 28th year. If I have been celebrating my birthday with you, then thanks for being a mainstay.

To those whom I invited but didn't make it for any reason...well, we're still good.

Happy 29th Birthday, MeanJean!!!

Do You Remember...

...21st night of September...

Yep, that's the song I would blurt out when I want people to remember my birthday. And so it was that time of the year again when I get older. I had work on the eve of my birthday (what's new?) I was doing nothing, I had just transferred back to the account and so I had no direct reports yet. It was about 20minutes before midnight, I asked ANDREW016 to go with me to Starbucks. A few minutes before midnight, I was on my station doing nothing again.
Then the first text message arrived. Owdster was the winner this year. Then I turned a year older...

- marked my body for life....got me my tat.
- moved to a bigger apartment with housemates.
- moved back to my mother account.

The list seems to be shorter every year...

Wish List:
- full length mirror (nabigay nila Goya, Scheduler, Depya and Tere)
- desk mirror (coz I can't take calls without seeing my facial expression
- Starbucks vaccuum flask (so I can bring coffee to work and not spend too much buying it)
- Cheesecake Melliza (along Kamagong)
- Banoffee Pie from Red Ribbon

Kinda late na tong list ko...pero September pa naman so pwede pa humabol.

3rd Couple

Mr. and Mrs. Christian Stepansky

Sept 8, 2007

Chicago Illinois

Best wishes to the couple!

See you on your honeymoon!

Homecoming Part II

After 1 year and 5 months, I'm coming home.

This time I made sure it's definite. Funny how when you know you'll lose someone, you try to bargain just to make them stay. I say, it's too late and thanks but no thanks I'm moving on.

There is only one reason and I choose not to say it. No one needs to know.

Just be happy for me and wish me luck. I' ll do the same for you. You have a lot of people with potential, please do not fail to recognize them at the right time.

I gained more experience with you guys and that's what I' ll take with me.

With that, I say "It was a pleasure assisting you, thank you for banking with us."

AD2 Release...

"May I have your domain name please?"

EOF, SOF, TOF

New acronyms in my world that were added recently:

T.O.F Termination of Friendship - may napaka matindi kang nagawang kasalanan kaya terminated na ang friendship natin. as in hindi na tayo friends. who you? as in binura na kita sa buhay ko. who you ulit?

S.O.F Suspension of Friendship - as of the moment hindi kita friend. ayaw kita maka-usap o makita kasi may nagawa kang hindi maganda. tignan natin kung hahantong ito sa TOF or magiging friends ulit tayo.

E.O.F End of Friendship - hmmm...lesser degree than TOF. we may be civil to each other pero hanggang dun na lang yun.

Isa lang naman ang na-experience ko among these 3. The other two, I only witnessed.

Whatever it is, I will not force you to fix things or start being friends again. Walang pwersahan. Take your time. No judgement made on either of you.

I realized that there's only a few people whom I can turn to when things aren't looking up and that's how I like it. Hindi talaga lahat ng taong mabait sayo ay mapapagkatiwalaan mo. Di ba nga keep your friends close, keep your enemies closer? Kung sino man ang meron ako ngayon, sila na yun till the end.

Bitch Mark

it's been lingering in my evil mind for almost a year now. i've chickened out a few times before but right now i'm glad i finally did it.

i got me a nice tattoo.

do you really have to have a reason for getting one? well okay, first of all, it's to validate my "secret" independence. second, it would be in preparation for when i turn thirty (tangina! it looks different in writing. eww).there, two reasons.

i will post the picture and video here next time. in the meantime, let me say it was a hell of an experience! the pain was there but it was a good kind of pain. you can't really describe it and they said only tattoed people can understand.

right now, i'm already thinking of getting a second one...yeah...it can be addicting. we'll see.

W4m00Li4n$

Just a few of the things that we do best!

Say You'll Stay...

An unexpected outage allowed me to update this...

So I've been to Davao, Cebu, Bantayan then it just hit me. I want to move back...
Well, I guess it's been lurking around my evil mind since there have been movements on the floor but this time I entertained it! It's a good thing that Mand-ie was in need of a supe so he agreed to accept me back. BUT!!! In one condition, "basta papayagan ka". So I did not waste a single minute.

After about 3 hours, I got my form signed. Mand-ie got me a schedule already. I informed a few trusted friends of the "move" back home. Everything was all set! I even had a start date! I was soo excited.

Then this... a few days ago, things were just cancelled. Gasp. Eww. Wait.

Just when I thought things were looking good with my career. Oh well, I guess I have to wait a little longer. Don't get me wrong, I'd want to stay here but I would rather be there, where I know my worth. Where i know I am wanted. Yes, you need me here but I need to be in a place where I am genuinely valued. And I feel that's home...

With the way things are going in this dynamic industry, who knows? I might stay.

or NOT! (we'll see...)

Travel Time

The year is almost ending and as far as I can remember, 2006 was supposed to be a travel year for me. The "move" sort of hindered me from doing just that but since there are still a few months left, I took advantage.

Davao
Oct 6 - 9. We booked this trip earlier this year. It was a promo that costs P10!!! (well, total damage was 2K plus) Dunno what the itinerary is but heck, I just need to get away. I'll be with the Fab Friends in this trip and it's been a long time since I last spent time with them.

Cebu
Oct 13-17. I literally had to beg my boss to allow me to go on leave for this. It took me only a day to plan it. All I had to do was call Jeffie and tell him that I wanted to go there. He will shoulder my accommodation and city tour. It will be my first time to travel ALONE and I'm really excited! I had Jeffie promise to pick me up from the airport. He arranged for friends to plan the itinerary. Bohol might be in the agenda so that's another one added to the list.

That's two weekends off from work! I can't wait!!! I'll be back to post everything about my trips.

My Little Corner Turns One!

My little corner will be turning 1 on october 15!!!

Nothing much has changed. She still looks the same (with more dirt though. he he)

A lot has seen her and she too has seen a lot.

When I felt alone. She comforted me

When I was having fun. She accommodated me and other people.

When I was just too lazy to get out, she was there to keep me company.

She has seen me at my best and worst.

I haven't been taking care of her the way I should but rest assured, I'm grateful for having her.

To my little corner, happy birthday!!!

Looking forward to more years with you (unless i get kicked out or move to another place)

28 Years

- 2 years from being 30 (dang! that says a lot!)
- managed to live on my own (without my mom's consent)
- got out of my comfort zone and transferred to another account.
- ditched my source of brokenness for years. (maybe, just maybe, now i'm happy)
- lost touch of friends (not a good thing. hopefully i can start getting in touch again)
- earned me new sets of friends (not as strong as the ones that i have but hey it's a start)

looking back, there's nothing much that i accomplished. sucks to be me, huh? until now, i still haven't found what i'm looking for. maybe it's because i'm still bitter about some things. is it really that hard to move on?
it's useless to sulk and rant about it. all i can do is hope that this year would be better. can you do the same for me? thanks!

Homecoming...Missing You or Good Riddance?....Moving Up

After six months, umuwi na ulit si friend! Excited pero hindi masyado. Medyo na-trauma ako dun sa last uwi niya. Hindi ko kinaya, may itinerary na sinend para sa bakasyon niya. Artista?! Next week pa naka-schedule ang partypeepz pero madaming utang sa akin na kwento so i'm hoping we'd get to bond as soon as you get back from batangas. na-miss kita, ano pa ba?

***************

So isang linggo na ang nakalilipas. Hindi na kita hinahanap dahil alam kong pinabayaan mo na ang obligasyon mo. Lagi kang tinatanong sa akin ng ibang tao. Aba, malay ko! Ano ba kita? Ang hirap pa nito, parang gusto ko na masanay sa ganun na lang. Ikaw ba ang magiging dahilan para kamuhian ko ang mga lalake at maging bad girl? Hindi din. Mas masahol pa yung nangyari bago ikaw. Nanggaling na ko dito, alam ko na to. This is sooo familiar. Buti na lang kaya ko na i-handle. Kung hindi mo kayang panagutan...then you're not worth it. Tama ang librong "He's Just Not That Into You".

***************

As usual, pag bigo sa ibang aspeto ng buhay, bumawi sa trabaho. Napasa na ang dapat ipasa. Kailangan na lang isalang sa madugong interview at tsaka na magkaka-alaman. Magbubukas sa Cebu, nag-volunteer ang lola mo pero may disclaimer na temporary lang please. Pang start up lang. Sana maging makabuluhan ang paglipat. Sana...

Week 311

Tuesday
- after shift nagpunta si Jopay, Peds, Papi at MeanJean sa Carafe. Kunwari may pag-uusapan kame about work pero ang totoo, iinom kame. Nagsimula ang attempt na magdire-diretso ang inom.

Wednesday
- pagkatapos magtrabaho, nag-dinner sa Gerry's at inintay sila Katie, Andres at Edwin. Pa-despedida nung dalawa. As usual hindi nawala ang beer sa eksena.
2nd day at nakatayo pa din.

Thursday
- muntik nang mauwi sa dramahan after shift pero in memory of Nikolay, napadpad kame sa kamagong. nag-jamming sila ibarra at agoncillo. siempre hindi nawala ang beer sa tugtugan. nagkayayaan kumain bago magsiuwian.
pangatlong araw na hindi pa din nalalasing.

Friday
- thursday pa sa states so tuloy ang thursday club sa pag-inom. hala sige...balik sa carafe. hindi na yata kumpleto ang araw ng wamoolians hangga't hindi nakakainom.
pang-apat na araw...hindi pa din nala-late kinabukasan sa office. ayus!

Saturday
- pagkatapos umattend ng binyagan, bumalik sa opisina para humabol sa...ano pa nga ba...eh di inuman. sa carafe pa din ang chika. bastos ang usapan. ibang klase talaga mga hirit ni agoncillo. pinaka tawang-tawang inuman session ng wamoolians.
pang limang araw, still standing.

Sunday
- sarado ang carafe. bad trip. napadpad sa giligan's para lang maitawid ang ka-hayukan sa alcohol. kung saan-saan napadpad ang usapan, pati girly things napagkwentuhan. nung nag alas diyes na, pack up na.
pang-anim na araw, nauwi sa glorya...este glorietta! mwehehehe

Monday lang ang pahinga. di ko inakalang kakayanin ko ang halos isang linggong pag-inom. minsan nakakatakot na kasi hinahanap na ng katawan mo ang beer. pero minsan naman steady lang. nagkasakit ako nung bandang huli ng linggong ito pero tuloy pa din sa pag-inom. nawala siya nung huling araw...

Pasensiya, pahinga muna sa Week 312.

Nagtatanong Lang

Pag hindi mo nga naman iniisip tsaka siya dumadating. Hindi mo naman siya napapansin nung una, nagtatrabaho ka lang. Pero nung umugong ang balita na nagmula sa usapang lasingan, hindi na siya nawala.
Nung una biruan pero habang tumatagal, parang gusto mo nang seryosohin. Pag wala, hinahanap mo. Pag naman andiyan, kailangan mong deadmahin. Mahirap, kasi madaming dahilan para huwag seryosohin. Pero gusto mo yung atensiyon na binibigay sayo. Pero paano pag hindi niya gusto yung mga gusto mo at kailangan pa niyang lumayo? Hahayaan mo lang ba o pipigilan mo? Gusto mong pabayaan kasi para sa ikabubuti niya yung gagawin niya. Pero kailangan mong pigilan para sa mga pansariling dahilan.
Sabi nga ni ate, we're not getting any younger. Hindi na advisable ang mga temporary happiness. Kailangan ay yung pang matagalan na. Pero mahirap pa din magtiwala lalo na kung hindi mo pa kilala ng lubusan. At kahit papaano nandoon pa din yung pagbabaka-sakali na tama ang ginagawa mo. May mga binitawan siyang salita na pahaging pero mukhang patama sa inyo. Pag tutuunan mo ba yoon ng pansin o ipagwawalang-bahala? Mahirap na di ba?
Sa nangyari sa inyo, iisipin mo wala lang yun. Parang tamang hinala na panandalian nga lang ito. At iyon ang iisipin mo hangga't hindi kayo naliliwanagan kung ano ba kayo sa isa't-isa. Ikaw, ayaw mong magpahalata na seryoso ka. At ganoon din siya.
Hanggang doon na lang kaya iyon?
Mukhang hindi mo malalaman ang sagot.

Random Thoughts

- bakit kailangan bumalik ang nakaraan? hindi ba puwedeng huwag na lang? kaya nga nakaraan na eh, lumipas na. di na dapat balikan. ano ba?!
- eh bakit sila may happy ending? ako, puwede din kaya magkaroon ng ganoon? sana naman noh?
- paano kapag matagal nang hindi nagkikita? ibig sabihin ba ay nakalimutan mo na sila? hindi naman diba? wala lang talagang pagkakataon para magkasama-sama ulit. yun lang. wala sanang sumbatan na magaganap dahil kung tunay na pagkakaibigan ang turing natin sa samahan natin, kahit hindi tayo nagkikita ng madalas, hindi ibig sabihin ay hindi na tayo magkaibigan. kailangan lang na pagkatiwalaan natin ang isa't-isa na hanggang sa huli ay magkaibigan tayo.
- mabalik tayo doon sa may happy ending... kailan kaya ang happy ending ko? haayy...

hindi ko alam kung masyado lang ako nag-iisip sa mga nakaraang araw (ano ba naman ang bago doon, jean?) pero may mga bagay na kailangang pag-isipan ng mabuti. maaaring paraan ito para mawala na lang kung anuman iyon o isang pagtakas sa kung anumang katotohanan ang maidudulot sa buhay ko. ewan. kailan ba matatapos ang walang kuwentang pag-iisip na ito?

pakshet.

Cho and Mato | May 14, 2006

Last Sunday was not only Mother's Day, it was the wedding of a good friend.

11:00am - was cramming for a silver pair of sandals to go with the blue dress and accessories too. felt like a part of Fashion for Less while rummaging through the department store looking for the perfect sandals and accessories. after 30mins, i found what i needed.
11:45am - went to the parlor for my hair and make up. den and mariel were already there. i was sitting for a good 5 minutes when i realized no one was approaching me so they could start. i was on the verge of getting pissed! after a few minutes, noel started prepping me. turned out to be a simple make up and do.
2:00 - rushed to galleria suites banyo to dress up!
went to edsa shang to transfer cars then off we went to the church. jor and tin were texting frantically that the ceremony would start with or without the 2 members of the entourage who were with us! made it to the church in the nick of time! phew!
*felt a tear while cho was about to enter the church. it was a very dramatic entrance! kudos to the wedding planner.
at about 4pm we drove back to edsa shang for the reception. dinner was served kinda late but the programme went on as planned.
while they were flashing the AVR, it showed our highschool pictures. medyo diyahe coz ang nene ng mga itsura namin dun!!! nonetheless, we enjoyed it and it was definitely a trip down memory lane.

i remember when cho and mato met the first time. it was xavier's soph night and they were blind dates. that started the relationship and the rest, as they say, is history. so after 11 years (yes! 11 looong years!) they tied the knot. it was the first wedding in the barkada so it was extra special. im sure after that, sunud-sunod na ang wedding na kailangan paghandaan. pasahan na nga kung sino ang susunod (do i feel the pressure or what?!) then before we know it, we're attending baptisms and children's parties!

haay...time flies so fast. hindi mo alam kung makikisabay ka o pipigilan mo. well, gusto mo man pigilan, mahirap yata yun. so ride ka na lang.

i wish cho and mato the best of the years to come. mato, please take care of my friend (i'm sure you would.) be a faithful husband or else...lagot ka samin (mwehehe) and i hope to get a pamangkin soon!
pagkahaba-haba man daw ng prusisyon, sa simbahan din ang tuloy. at yun nga ang nangyari!


Congratulations, Mr & Mrs. Manuel Salientes!!!

W*M* Trainers and CSMs -- ASTIG!

mahigit isang linggo nang "live" na ang mga bangkero't bangkera. mahigit isang buwan na ang nakakaraan nung magsimula ang training, dalawang linggo na puro OI ang kaharap at phone sims na walang kamatayan. watak-watak pa noon kasi nahati sa tatlong klase, 2 sa gabi at isa sa umaga. masarap din nung training, para lang nasa eskuwelahan. wala masyadong report na kailangan asikasuhin. pasok ka lang, makinig, kumain, makipag-bonding sa kapwa bangero't bangkera. pagkatapos ng klase, puwede na agad tumambay o maghintay na magbukas ang mall.

nung nagsimula na ang transition, nagtipun-tipon ang lahat sa 4F. kabado ang bawat isa. pero makikita mo na ang lahat ay nagkaka-isa. pati level 3 and up ay nakikipag-agawan sa pag-avail. ayaw mag floor walk dahil hindi din alam kung ano ang isasagot. pinaka-aabangan ng lahat ay ang de-brief (de-panty para sa mga corny). unahan sa pagsulat ng tanong sa Parking Lot/Space, unahan sa paghanap ng kasagutan sa sandamakmak na OI. enjoy sa mga pakulo na inihanda ng trainers at CSMs. game na game ang lahat. makikita mo na gusto ng nakararami na matuto.

sa kabuuan ng panahong ito, may mga taong umalalay sa mga bangkero't bangkera. si Dave, Jamie, Erica, Elaine, Leana, Kathy at David. sila ang mga nagkaroon ng malaking bahagi sa buhay ng batch 1. sila ang walang pagod na sumasagot sa mga tanong at gumagawa ng paraan para mapadali ang lahat ng bagay sa mundo ng mga bangkero.

mga onaks kung tawagin pero napamahal sa mga noypi ng W*M*. salamat sa sakripisyo na mapalayo sa pamilya niyo. salamat sa walang sawang pagsagot sa mga tanong namin at sa pag-alalay sa amin. higit sa lahat, salamat sa kakaibang pagkakataon na magkakilanlan ang dalawang magka-ibang kultura. sana ay makabalik kayo.

Wanted: The Right One

- hindi kailangang guwapo basta presentable
- may sense of humor. kayang patawanin ang ibang tao pero hindi magmumukhang tanga
- marunong makuntento sa isang tao. hindi kailangang maghanap ng iba.
- maayos ang pananalita. hindi kailangang may twang pero hindi din barok
- may respeto sa kahit kanino.
- kayang makihalubilo sa lahat ng klase ng tao: jologs, coño, tambay sa kanto at kahit sa foreigner
- may disenteng trabaho
- street smart
- marunong humawak ng pera
- may diskarte sa buhay
- STRAIGHT!
- independent; nakatira sa sariling condo/apt/house at hindi kasama ang magulang (optional)
- may sasakyan (optional)

if you know someone who would be interested, please let me know. utang na loob!
(masyado bang desperate?!)

Sa May Washington

nagtipun-tipon ang apat na babae sa isang bahay sa may washigton. ang agenda, mag-celebrate at mag-rant. tanghaling tapat at katirikan ng araw. pagka-kain ng pananghalian, nagsimula na ang sesyon.

isa sa mga babae ang nagpupumilit matuto ng "the birds and the bees". hindi ko alam kung matutuwa ako o maaawa. sa edad niyang yun, wala siyang kamuwang-muwang. di namin malaman kung pano sasabihin sa kanya ang katotohanan kaya pinapanood na lang namin siya ng sample. ewan ko lang kung may natutunan siya. hindi niya masikmurang tignan so paano siya matututo.

natapos ang sesyon nang kinailangan ng pumasok ng may ari ng bahay. nabuwag ang apat na babae (na nadagdagan ng isa nung bandang gabi na).

hindi dun natatapos ang kuwento ng apat na babae. panigurado ay magkikita-kita pa sila dahil pareho sila ng oras ng trabaho.

tagay lang mga kapatid...sa susunod na kabanata.

Bankeras and Bankeros Went to Glorietta

it's been a long time since i've done major shopping and it came at a really good time.

so this new account gave a directive that all employess servicing them should be in a smart casual attire. specifically no jeans! so with itay's plastic, we headed to glorietta.

first stop, shoes! tried on a few pairs. closed shoes, mind you. then we went to M&S for clothes. note, bawal ang magkapareho but i ended up getting the same style as zhai's. sorry mare, na-pressure na ko at parang ako na lang ang iniintay niyo matapos. rummaged through Zara, MNG, Esprit hoping to find something but failed miserably. went to Memo to buy a very "bankera" bag.

i'm not the type who'd go for branded clothes or accessories but since this one's charged to itay, i took the chance. besides, it wouldn't hurt to invest on quality items, minsan lang naman 'to.

as if hindi pa natapos ang yaman-yamanin na pagpapanggap, we went to Suriya for a foot spa. haaay... talk about "the life", what a good way to drown my misery and start my new challenge. btw, we'll go into transition next week so hell week ito for all of us since we'll be taking calls. thizizit! let's see kung ma-apply namin ang mga pinag-aralan for two weeks.

went home really relaxed but sleepy i inadvertently ditched depya, bhing and goya. we were supposed to drink at home but i was deep in slumber.

mood: still desperately trying not to think about it.
currently listening to: Be My Number 2; Jo Jackson

Weekends @ Home

been spending weekends at home...you ask, "what's new?" A LOT!

- howe is (ew. ako ba 'to?) been spending time with me at home. after my saturday shift, i'd rush home kasi padating na siya. dvd marathon as usual, long talks, dinner/lunch out then back home to watch more tv.
- it's nice to wake up with someone beside you na walang pakialam even if you look like hell in the morning. sarap din ng feeling nung nag-uusap lang kayo tungkol sa kahit ano hanggang makatulog.
- hindi pa kame nag-aaway (as in major away) since we started hanging out with each other again. accomplishment yun para sa aming dalawa!
- he's sweeter now. kahit papaano nagpapakita na siya ng pagkaswit niya.
- been going to work with a collared shirt for three consecutive days! (bahala ka na mag-isip kung bakit!)
- he'd wake me up in time for work. kaya minsan minutes na lang ang late ko hindi na hours!
- kahit hindi kame magkasama, he'd text to let me know what he's doing or if he's going somewhere (sobrang hindi niya 'to ginagawa dati!)
- pag magkasama kame, ikukwento niya kung sino ang ka-text niya. hindi na niya tinatago yung fone niya or minsan hindi niya talaga gagalawin ang fone niya not even to check if there are any messages.
- napasama ko siya mag hang out with lod and rei.

kahit ganyan, i still have my reservations. been fighting to stop myself from being into deep. at the same time napepressure with what's been going on around me. mga kinakasal, mga magpapakasal at mga nabubuntis. i want to think na thizizit! pero ayoko. hangga't walang proposal, walang iisipin!

sa isang banda, bakit ako matatakot masaktan kung ilang beses na niyang nagawa yun? aba eh, tao pa din naman ako. may damdamin.

ah ewan.

Para Sa'yo Kaibigan

mahirap isipin na yung taong hinuhugutan mo ng lakas dati ay siya naman ang nangangailangan ng suporta. naiintindihan ko ang kalagayan niya. sa pagkakakilala ko sa kanya, ibinibigay niya ang lahat ng makakaya niya para sa kahit anong bagay. sa puntong ito, masasabi kong mahirap nga ang situwasyon niya. kahit hindi ko lubusang maiintindihan dahil magkaiba kame ng posisyon, nakaka-relate naman ako kahit papaano.

eto lang ang masasabi ko, at panigurado ay alam niya ito, may dahilan ang lahat ng bagay. hindi ibibigay sa iyo iyan kung hindi mo kakayanin. gusto ko lang sabihin na, ikaw ang isa sa mga kakaunting tao na bumubuo ng pader na sinasandalan ko. makita kang pinanghihinaan ng loob ay hindi masama. siguro ay ito ang mga isa sa kakaunting panahon na ako naman ang maaari mong sandalan. at nandito lang ako. masayang malaman na may pagkakataon ako na ibalik sa iyo ang mga nagawa mo para sa akin.

pasasaan ba ay, malalagpasan mo din iyan. andito lang ako kung kailangan mo ako, laging handa lalo na kung para sa iyo.

"Tier 1 Queue!!!"

saying goodbye to my comfort zone and moving on with a new challenge...

Mga Mami-miss ko:
- sumigaw ng "Tier 1/Hosting/VIP/ Queue!" - iba na siguro ang isisigaw ko.
- my kids and adopted ones. mga Jean's Listers past and present.
- ang Email Team - been their sup since I started. it was a privilege handling such efficient agents. kaya nga the best of the best kame eh (*wink). ang team building, kailan?
- CSRT, RTPS, VMAC/BIGMAC, Email stats, supstats at ang open access to ALL URLs.
- ang Siesta Fiesta once a month - ang pag-organize nito last minute. ang pag-habol ng budget at pag liquidate nito.
- yung Kapre. kahit hindi niya aminin na mamimiss din niya ako...siya mamimiss ko as a boss. kasi friends pa din naman tayo. i learned a lot sa pangpepressure mo. he he he
- ang Ops. yes we've had our difficult times pero walang tatalo sa samahan ng NSI Ops. goodluck sa mga bagong sups at SMEs.

lahat ng alam ko sa pagiging supervisor natutunan ko sa account na ito. totoo ang sinasabi nila na pag galing ka dito, iba ang training, iba ang culture. and that's what makes this account the best. mahirap iwanan ang kinalakihan mo na. apat na taon, limang buwan at limang araw ang inilagi ko dito but i'm looking forward to this new challenge.

Moving Up the Ladder

CONGRATULATIONS,

Supervisor Trainees!!!

(Jun, Goya, Keiko)

Hippocratic Oath -- Modern Version (at meron talagang Old Version)

I swear to fulfill, to the best of my ability and judgment, this covenant

will respect the hard-won scientific gains of those physicians in whose steps I walk, and gladly share such knowledge as is mine with those who are to follow.

I will apply, for the benefit of the sick, all measures which are required, avoiding those twin traps of overtreatment and therapeutic nihilism.

I will remember that there is art to medicine as well as science, and that warmth, sympathy, and understanding may outweigh the surgeon's knife or the chemist's drug.

I will not be ashamed to say "I know not," nor will I fail to call in my colleagues when the skills of another are needed for a patient's recovery.

I will respect the privacy of my patients, for their problems are not disclosed to me that the world may know. Most especially must I tread with care in matters of life and death. If it is given me to save a life, all thanks. But it may also be within my power to take a life; this awesome responsibility must be faced with great humbleness and awareness of my own frailty. Above all, I must not play at God.

I will remember that I do not treat a fever chart, a cancerous growth, but a sick human being, whose illness may affect the person's family and economic stability. My responsibility includes these related problems, if I am to care adequately for the sick.

I will prevent disease whenever I can, for prevention is preferable to cure.

I will remember that I remain a member of society, with special obligations to all my fellow human beings, those sound of mind and body as well as the infirm.

If I do not violate this oath, may I enjoy life and art, respected while I live and remembered with affection thereafter. May I always act so as to preserve the finest traditions of my calling and may I long experience the joy of healing those who seek my help.

- to end this series of entries for Doc Jing and to make it official, this is what he swore to.

1:30pm; Fiesta Pavilion, Manila Hotel One Rizal Park, Manila

One More Shot...

... and maybe this time it will work out. Who knows?
- all I know is he goes well with the things in my apartment.
perfect fit.
he knows his way around.
Why is it that somehow i feel things would be okay between us?

(slap me, i think i said that before.)

All It Took Was "One Take"

Jayson Cruz M.D.

Congratulations, Jing! For passing the Physician Licensure Exam!!!

- after 7 years and 3 schools, you finally made it! mwehehe. i'm so proud

Bamboo Cove: An Island Opposite White Beach

::: My Second Getaway for 2006 :::

It was a longer boat ride from Batangas Pier compared to the trip to White Beach. There's about a 45-minute travel (by land) from another pier to the island itself. But hell...it was worth it!

Here is the view from the top:

By time we got there, we did not waste any time. We headed straight for the beach. It was a very relaxing vacation. Not the usual White Beach vacay (i swore to never go back there. too much bad memories) Snorkeling was amazing. I saw more fish than I did in Palawan.
Here are more pictures...

The Birth of the "Fab 4"

::: My first weekend getaway for 2006 :::

*Saturday

- left manila at about 8am... travelled NLEX en route to the summer capital of the Philippines - where else? BAGUIO!

- some might plan 3days and 2nights stay in this city but not us. the main goal was to go ukay-shopping so one night was enough. as soon as we checked in, we didn't waste a single minute.

- first stop was the high-end ukay. mostly overruns. i was hesitant at first because i was traumatized the first time i tried ukay in baguio. we almost got mugged. once i stepped in the building, i totally forgot about it. shopping is a therapy for me. looking through dusty, second-hand stuff was no different from mall shopping. except of course the price and the fact that you can make tawad all you want. i actually enjoyed it.
- after about 4hrs of ukay, we got hungry. (note: i came from last night's shift so i was kinda puyat) ate at Sizzling Plate. cheapest steak in town! yum.
- after dinner, we went back to the hotel to try out the stuff that we bought. we all got our own share of good items. from bags to jackets. elaine was the happiest with her fabulous finds...thus the name Fabulous Friends.
- they still had the energy to go out and rummage through more stuff but me? i had to call it a day.

*Sunday
- got started at 7am... Baguio is not complete without a visit to the Cafe by the Ruins. breakfast was light but scrumptious. of course we had to take pictures by the ruins.
- went to another ukay, this time the medyo low-end ukay where everything was going out for 100 bucks down! went back to the hotel for a late check out.
- lunch was at this carinderia near Burnham Park. we ate like there was no tomorrow. all the greasy, cholesterol-loaded food that you can imagine were laid down the table.
- Mines View Park was our last stop. this was reserved for pasalubongs (this is not my first time in Baguio but somehow, i always have to bring something back) this time, we skipped the picture taking.
- before heading back to manila, we had to load up on cash so we went to SM Baguio. stayed at starbucks for a caffeine boost to keep us all awake during the trip home.
- travelled free-falling to save up on gas (mwehehe)
- stopped at this road-side carinderia at Tarlac for dinner. first time i saw sisig being chopped in front of you. had a talk on Oprah lifestyle. i've always believed that good food must be shared
with friends and a good talk.

- i earned a new travel friend, Elaine.
- while travelling, you must try the local delicacy to make the trip complete.
- this is just the start of your travel year. get your bag, passport and savings ready jean. we're going to see the world!

Someone You Use

yes there are times when i use other people, to a certain extent but most of the time i feel used. hey, nobody is perfect and it's not bad to be practical at times. but one of the worst feelings in the world is when you feel used and yet you still allow it. haaayyy....pathetic.

- Vonda Shepard

Just a shoulder to cry on

That's all I've been to you

Just someone to rely on

When your world is empty and blue

I'm just someone you call dear

Anytime you choose

I'm just someone you run to

I'm just someone you use

I'm just someone you can talk to

And that's all I'll ever be

Just a clown you can laugh with

Someone to treat you as you need

I'm just a fool you can love on

Any time you choose

I'm just someone you run to

I'm just someone you use

I'm just someone you run to

I'm just someone you use

Don't you know when you need me

My little heart just can't refuse

I'm just someone who loves you,

babyI can't win and I can't lose

I'm just someone you run to

I'm just someone you use

2006 Resolutions

Na-prove ko na mahirap magbagong-buhay. Kahit gano ka magsumikap patunayan na iba na ang ugali mo, kung ano ka noon ay yun na ang tatatak sa utak ng ibang tao. But that won't stop me. Ang importante, I'm doing this for myself. Maybe not for the people I know now but for those whom I will meet.

1. MeanJean no more - maybe not in all aspects. ill try to be more pleasing to everyone. bitchy pa din in some ways pero nasa lugar.

2. Time Management - i'll try not to procastinate. whatever i need to do, hindi ko na ipapagpabukas. uuwi ng maaga from work, hindi na papasok kahit rest day

3. Anger Management - i'll try to control my temper. mag-iisip ng mabuti bago magsalita. otherwise ill be regretting things that i said.

4. Travel - i want to get out of the country or explore more of the Philippines. Target: January: Galera March: Singapore/Vietnam/Cambodia April or May: Cebu/ Bohol July: Texas (??!)

5. Manage my Finances - daming beses ko na to in-attempt. this year im quite optimistic na kakayanin ko na siya kasi i have bills na hindi pwedeng pabayaan. i will continue saving up.

6. Enhance my Spiritual Relationship with Him - attend mass whenever possible.

So many factors triggered me to change for the better. So much has happened the past year. Na-realize ko na hindi na pwede palampasin ang mga bagay that hinder me from being genuinely happy. Marami akong regrets, mistakes, katangahan at kung anu-ano pa na nagsilbing aral.

falling in love with you is one of my favorite mistakes - wag mag-feeling; malay mo hindi ikaw ang tinutukoy ko. kung sino man to, i have learned not to trust a man right away nor give my everything to anyone. this is a constant struggle for me since taun-taon na lang yata sinasabi ko ito sa sarili ko. and i will say it again, my happiness doesn't depend on any man. i can only be happy if i allow it. sana matutunan mo din na you don't need other people to make you happy. hindi ka magiging tunay na masaya kung ang dami mo na nasaktan. hindi mo kelangan manakit ng ibang tao para sumaya ka.

giving too much of myself to others leaves me empty-handed - hindi masama magtira para sa sarili ko. that doesn't mean i'm selfish. dati takot ako na magdamot kasi ayoko isipin ng ibang tao na ganun ako sa lahat ng aspeto ng buhay ko. pero na-realize ko na ibigay lang kung ano ang kayang ibigay. anything more than that is suicide.

at the end of the day, it's just me, myself and I - i firmly believe that i am an independent soul. kaya ko tumayo sa sarili kong paa. pero inaamin ko, may ilang bagay na hindi ko kayang gawin mag-isa. may mga panahon na pwede akong maging "damsel in distress" or "needy" at umasa sa ibang tao. but most of the time, pwede ako mag solo flight.

As usual, every day is a constant struggle to be a better person. I'm sure everyone goes through that. Just don't deprive me of my ability to change. Keep an open mind. Don't be bias. I don't mean to sound like a self-righteous bitch but you also have flaws of your own but you are free to change.

This year, everyone starts with 100 points. For every negative deed, you get a demerit. At the end of the year, let's see who has the most number of points left. I hope I also get my 100 points from you.

The Year That Was ::: 2005

Famous Last Words ni Mean Jean for 2005

*On Love- I have loved and lost and loved again…and lost….then loved again.
*On Friends- I still choose to keep a handful of trusted friends. This year, I learned not to be too trusting. When shit hits the fan, it’s the people whom you least expect who turn their backs on you first. It doesn’t matter what the truth is, what’s important is how much of it was covered. more often than not, that’s what they’ll believe in.- it’s difficult to let go of friends. especially those whom you thought were true. the latter part of this year was all about betrayal. sadly, that’s what i’ll remember this year for.
*On Life- Life is great! I’ve learned to try to live it to the fullest. I tried to be as carefree as I could without actually foregoing my responsibilities.
*On Health- Promise i’ll have my blood sugar checked! but i can’t promise i can quit smoking.

Christmas @ Home

Friday:- After-shift inuman with the fax reps at Dencio’s. Went back to the apartment to fix stuff that i’ll be bringing home. unfortunately, tinamad ako. wasn’t able to go home that day :c someone kept me company naman. (clue: the return of the EX) – oops. dead giveaway.

Saturday:- woke up after lunch. passed by my favorite mall and stayed at Figaro for a few more smokes bago umuwi. daming tao nag last minute shopping. tsk tsk tsk.
- went straight to Mama Lola’s house. nawala sa isip ko na mama passed away, hahanapin ko sana siya. saw my aunts and cousins. isa lang ang comment nila, pumayat na daw ako. woohoo!
- mom and i went home kasi magluluto pa ko. needed to attend the 10:30pm mass. hindi pa din kame nagpapansin ng bro ko. oh well…- cooked spaghetti and mashed potato (parang hindi bagay). after a very long time, i heard mass again. attended the 10:30pm anticipated Christmas mass with ma and phoebe. ang daming tao! when we got home, yaku was heating the food. after we ate, kanya-kanyang tulog na. that’s how noche buena is in our house. media noche is what i usually look forward to.

Christmas morn:- woke up at about 9am. my godchildren were knocking na…told ma to tell them im sleeping. nagtago na naman si ninang jean. mwehehehe
- lunch was at mama lola’s house again. stayed for a while after eating. siesta time na so ma and i went home. yaku wasn’t with us. he went to the farm to look after his alaga. i slept the entire day. woke up at about 9pm na then i prepared for work.

After Six Months...

He finally got promoted!

I am so proud of you, my friend!

All it took was a little patience...

CONGRATULATIONS FOR A

WELL-DESERVED PROMOTION!

Parang Kayo, Pero Hindi

She is a 24-year old copywriter. He is an architect. They met and became
lovers in college. They broke up last year but remained to be "friends."
They send sweet text messages and he calls her often to make sure she's
okay. They still date. They still have sex. They don't see anyone else. It
is obvious that they still love each other but when asked about their
situation, she doesn't know the real score. Even her friends are in the dark.
"Parang sila, pero hindi."
***********************************
She works in a telecom. He is reviewing for the board. They are in the same
barkada. They talk on the phone till 4 am. He gives her chocolates, flowers
and CDs even when there is no occasion. Their friends are suspecting
something. Bakit sila nagsosolo kapag may overnight inuman? Why does he hold her close on the dance floor? Bakit sila magkaholding hands lagi?
Sila kaya? "He hasn't admitted anything," she rants. "But I let him hug and kiss me.
Parang kami, pero hindi."
***********************************
They work together in an ad agency. After office, they would watch movie,
have dinner and stroll at Glorietta. She gave him Harry Potter books for
his birthday in exchange for posing as her boyfriend to make an ex jealous.
They made out during the company outing in Subic and never talked about
it. He said "I love you" once but she wasn't sure if she heard him
correctly because they were both drunk then. But one thing she is sure of is her
feelings for him. She likes him. And she's assuming that with what he's
doing to her and with her, he likes her, too. There's just one hitch: he has a girlfriend!
***********************************
She is a 28-year-old virgin. He's a 35-year-old bachelor. Both
mountaineers, they became close during their climbs. After a few dates in
posh restaurants, he brings her to his condo where they would make out.
They have been doing this for months. She wants to believe that "sila na"
but then she's not really sure about it. "We don't talk about it but it
doesn't really matter," she'd tell her friends. "What's important is I am
enjoying this -- whatever it is."
***********************************
The "parang kayo, pero hindi" stage. Others call it MU or mutual
understanding. Pseudo-relationships. Pseudo-boyfriends. Flings. Almost like
a relationship, but not quite. It is a phase where the persons involved are
more than friends, but not quite lovers. Puwedeng may verbal agreement, puwedeng
wala. One or both of you may have admitted your feelings, possible ding
hindi. You just let your gestures do the talking for you.
Walang pormal na ligawan na nangyari. Hindi kayo mag-dyowa.
Pero sa kilos niyo, sa mga sinasabi niyo, parang kayo, pero hindi.

This kind of "relationship" can happen at different stages for different
reasons. It can happen after a break-up. You still love each other, and you
want to be with each other but you broke up for a reason. And for reasons
that you alone know, ayaw niyo na muna magkabalikan. It can also happen
before a relationship, iyong pareho kayong nakikiramdam. Possible din na ayaw niyo
munang mag-seryoso kaya kunwa-kunwarian lang muna. Testing lang. Puwede ring
hindi puwedeng maging kayo kasi isa sa inyo --usually
the guy --may ka-relasyon na. Kaya habang hindi pa siya nakikipag-break
doon sa girl (sabi niya makikipag-break siya soon pero di naman niya ginagawa), wala
muna kayong relasyon para nga naman hindi siya nangagaliwa kasi "hindi naman
kayo."

This pseudo-relationship stage, for a time, can be fun. Lalo na kung
naghahanap ka lang naman ng "kalaro." Pero huwag ka lang mag-e-expect na may
patutunguhan kayo kasi wala talagang kasiguraduhan. So bakit ang daming
nagse-settle sa ganitong set up ganoong hindi naman sigurado kung may
patutunguhan?

Iba't ibang dahilan. Puwedeng for fun lang. Puwedeng "buti na iyan kesa
wala" or puwede na iyang "pantawid-gutom." Meaning, habang wala pa yong the real
thing, doon muna sa kunwa-kunwarian.

For those who are not in a serious relationship, they would think that
pseudo-relationship is better than no relationship at all. It would be fun,
if all you are after for is that "kilig" feeling.

Aminado naman ako na once upon a time, may mga pseudo-relationships
din ako. No commitments involved. For the simplest reason that they couldn't
commit, because they were either committed to someone else, or that they
weren't ready to commit.

My rationalization, "okay na iyun, kesa wala."

Ang habol ko lang naman, iyong kilig feeling. Iyong merong
nagtatanong kung kumusta araw ko. Iyong merong ka-cuddle sa beach outing.
Iyong kapag tumunog ang cellphone, mapapangiti na ako dahil alam kong galing sa
kanya ang message. Iyong merong laging kasama. Habang wala pa ang the real thing,
puwede na itong pagtiyagaan.

But then I learned that although it was only a pseudo-relationship,
the emotions were real. And usually, in this kind of set up, ang babae
lagi ang lugi.

Una, you can't ask him to commit. Since it's not really a relationship, you
can't demand commitment from your partner. Ano ba kayo? May K ka nga
ba magpasundo ng hatinggabi? You will always be uncertain about your
role in his life. You can't expect him to be always there with you. And if
you feel jealous of the other girls, you just have to keep it to yourself.
Ano ka ba niya para magselos?

Pangalawa, what if you fall deeply in love with him? You can't be sure if
he feels the same way. Baka nag-a-assume ka lang na mahal ka rin niya. Even if
you are dying to tell him you love him, you can't. Because you're not sure
if he'll like it. Baka mapahiya ka lang. This stage will always make you
wonder where you are in the relationship. Or if there is a relationship at all.

Pangatlo, what if you become attached too much? What if you have invested
all your emotions and this man hasn't? What if you
remain faithful to him, not entertaining other guys, only to find out that
he is seeing other girls?

Isa pang downside ng pseudo-relationships, it is fleeting. When a
disagreement sets in, or when one of you gets cold, then that would be the
end of it. Unlike in a serious relationship, hindi mo alam kung saan ka
lulugar sa isang pseudo-relationship. Wala kang pinanghahawakan. Kasi sa
pseudo-relationship, there is no "us." Meron lang "you and me," hindi "us."
Buti sana kung pseudo-pain din lang ang mararanasan mo. Kaso, hindi eh. Real
pain. And usually, kahit tapos na ang pseudo-relationship, hindi mo
maiwasan umasang one day, may karugtong pa rin iyun. And you will be
miserable, hoping to bring back what you used to have, only to find out
eventually that the guy is in another pseudo-relationship with somebody
else.

Ang hirap, ano? You agreed to this kind of set up for fun and then you'd
end up hurting yourself in the process.

Pero puwede naman maiwasan ang pain eh. Puwede naman na hindi mo muna isipin
ang future and just enjoy the feeling, without thinking of the consequences.

But if you are certain that you are going to hurt yourself in the process,
kailangan mo mamili. You can be happy and live the moment without worrying
what would happen next. Or you can stop settling with pseudo-relationships and
wait for the real thing.

When I was in a pseudo-relationship with an unavailable guy, a friend told me,
"Sige, kung ayaw mong magpapigil, bahala ka. Magpakasaya ka.
Pero huwag kang iiyak-iyak pagkatapos, dahil tatadyakan kita."

Ang bottom line lang naman, kung magpapasaya sa iyo, gawin mo. Ihanda mo
lang ang sarili mo sa consequence. Dahil ang "parang kayo pero hindi" stage
ay bihirang nagiging totoo.
Usually, hanggang doon lang siya ... almost,but not quite.

Lagare: Part II

*Friday After shift:
- Food trip with DP and Bhing sa RJ’s Bulalo in Mandaluyong. Ordered kare-kare with fried chicken at siempre Special Bulalo! Yum. After eating, nag 4+1 kame for only P99. Ang catch…Colt 45 ito. Sa kagustuhang makamura, pinatulan na naming tatlo. Before we knew it, naka 3 rounds kame. Sumakit ang ulo ko sa mga kumanta sa videoke. Gusto ko sila batuhin ng bulalo para tumigil sa pagkanta. Lintek. Na-witness ko din kung gano kakulit si Bhing pag nalalasing. Napilitan kame umalis dahil lasing na nga siya. Pati si DP hindi naka-angal.
*Saturday
- Met with Rei at Coffee Bean, GB3. Had late lunch at Recipes by Cafe Metro (dito kame madalas kumain ni Jing dati so may favorite food na kami). Ordered Crispy Tilapia and garlic rice. Yum. In case you want to eat there, you may want to try their General’s Chicken. Chicken cubes with garlic and a sweet n spicy sauce na parang teriyaki.
- After eating, we had to rush to G1 to catch the 5:20pm showing of “Ang Pagdadalaga ni Maximo Oliveros”. It’s a world acclaimed digital film and the first Filipino feature to be included in the World Dramatic Competition Films for Sundance 2006. Galing talaga ng Pinoy! Although I found it dragging, it was done in good taste. I am not a big fan of art films more so Pinoy films but this one was a break from the usual American films that I love watching.
- After the yosi-after-movie routine, Bhing texted asking if I was interested in watching a stand up comedy show at Music Museum. They had complimentary tickets worth P800 each so why not try it out?! Ticket says that the show starts at 8:30 but of course it started at about 9pm na. I am not a fan of stand up comedians especially Americans coz most of the time I just don’t understand their humor.
- The show ended at about 12mn. From Greenhills, we went back to Makati for a night cap. We headed to Cable Car. Ang classic ng dating. Highschool yata ako when I went there for the first time. Bakit parang naging jologs na siya. We were inside the smoking lounge where the videoke machine was. Parang sumakit na namana ng ulo ko dahil sa mga taong kumakanta. Hindi maganda ang boses ko pero hindi ko naman pinangangalandakan sa iba. Ayoko lang talaga ng idea na magbabayad ako ng limang piso para kumanta sa harapan ng ibang tao. Pero huwag ka, nung inabot na ang mic sa table namin, I grabbed the other one while Lod had the other. Kumanta pa din ako (hipokrita! he he). After eating, we all decided to call it a night. Pagod na kasi.
- When I got home, hindi pa ako nakatulog agad. I watched “Princes Diaries” and before I knew it, the sun was shining na. Nagpanic ako so I forced myself to go to sleep.

*Sunday
- Met up with babycakes at 6pm, CPK Shang. We had dinner, caught up with each others’ lives and planned our Christmas get together. Ordered the Mushroom Ravioli, a babycakes favorite at CPK. First time in years na we were almost complete. Even Singapore-based Cha was there. Buti na lang she’s in Manila for the Holidays.
- At about 9pm, I headed to GB3. Teza, Lod, Rei, Paan and Odie were already at Masas for a late dinner. Teza just got back from the states so we had to get together. I had a cosmopolitan (yez! feeling woman of the world at ito ang inorder ko at hindi SML) isang round lang kasi may pasok pa ko (loser!). It was nice to hang out with them after a long time. It’s been a while since the Sunday club got together. Dati, we could afford to hang out every Sunday in Greenbelt but since some of us transferred to other companies, medyo natigil yun. But we’re slowly bringing it back. Halos every weekend na ulit kame nagkikita.

That was how I spent my rest days this week. Kapagod din. Next weekend naman is reserved for completing my Christmas shopping. Bazaar hopping yan for sure! Looking forward to it though, shopping bonding with friends. What else could be more fun than that? mwehehehe

Dying...

-Five For Fighting
Been listening to this for the past weeks. Wala lang...

I'm Dying, Dying to wake up without you,
without you in my head again
I'm Dying, Dying to forget about you,
that you ever lived

There's a shade come over this
heart that's coping with
laying down to rest
I'm Dying to live without you again

I'm Dying, Dying to find a distraction,
get you away from me
I'm Dying, Dying to reach a conclusion,
so that the world can see

It's the same old story of
love and glory that
broke before it bent
I'm dying to live without you again

The first time you left
I said goodbye
Now there's not a prayer
that can survive

Dying, Dying to die just to come back
so we can meet again
Dying, Dying to say what I always,
always should have said

It's a strange emotion this
but there's still hope in this
As long as there's a breath...
I'm Dying and I can't live without you again

It's a strange emotion this
but there's still hope in this
As long as there's a breath...

I'm Dying and I can't live without you
I'm Dying and I can't live without you again

A Walk To Remember

I hate walking.
But today was different. I was supposed to meet someone in Greenbelt and somehow it looked like a good day to take a walk.
And so I did.
I went out of the elevator then out of the office building . Headed towards the MMC parking lot and started on my way. The sun was shining but I was okay with it (weird huh?). The sun on my skin actually felt good.

While walking, I was conscious of the things around me. Of course I had to be, I was passing a busy street! Once I got passed that, I found myself walking effortlessly. It was a quiet street (don't ask me what street that was. I couldn't care less.) I just followed a path that was familiar to me. Someone led me to that path once. So while walking, I had time to reflect on things that have been happening lately. As I was walking past the park, I realized that walking wasn't so bad at all. In fact enjoyed it!
Halfway through, I felt my feet start to hurt. Not because I was tired, it was because the strap of my sandals was rubbing too much on my skin, it burned. Of all the days that I had to wear these sandals it had to be when I felt like walking (hand hits forehead).

I got to Greenbelt, went straight to Starbucks. Hey, I bought the last of the 21 drinks required then I finally got my Starbucks 2006 planner! Clap. Clap. Clap.

My Little Corner: Update

For the past week, I have been going home early. That's weird considering I used to spend an average of 12 hours in the office. Today, I have one more reason to go home early....my TV was delivered na!!!
Major problem: I spent a good hour trying to set it up! Since I'm alone nga in the apartment, nobody could help me (wawa). So I had to bring the TV out of the box myself! medyo mabigat ah. Then I had to put it up sa lower part of the shelf...kasi andun yung cable connection. potah...hindi ko makabit! Masyadong maiksi yung cord!!! At ang layo ng socket!!! Wala akong extension cord!!! Imagine my frustration trying to get the picture to show. So I tried to change the position, binuhat ko na naman siya papunta dun sa center table (at least malapit sa saksakan)....i read the manual several times pero wala pa din picture. (Gusto ko na ibalik yung TV. naiyak na ko)
so I gave up (wala pa yung pag-install ng DVD dun ah) balik ako sa radio ko at magazines....

Early that night:
I met my date (he he he). I felt embarassed coz he was wearing jeans and a collared shirt! When he invited me, he said dress up for dinner. So ako naman for more porma. Went to Prince of Jaipur at the Fort. Nice resto...I was awed by the way it was decorated. Full of big buddha statues, Indian-inspired mannequins hanging on the wall (kinda creepy come to think of it), and those big Indian tapestry with all the bead works. Turned out, he was the one under dressed! (belat) Had dinner and a few drinks. Food was okay. I didn't understand what they were so I based it on the appearance. Ate something really spicy! Kakahiya. Had to gulp down half a bottle of water!

Met up with some friends after dinner. Went to GB3 for coffee. Met A and Rei. Marc followed. After a few hours of dissing other people, we got bored. We all decided to hang out in the apartment. Bought a few drinks and headed to Guada.

Back to the apartment:
Both boys started setting up the TV and DVD player. I dunno what's wrong with my technical skills but somehow they got to install it! Thanks to them! Since then, I've been going home early to watch cable or DVD. He he he

Daily Dose: My Source of Happiness

For the past few weeks, I've been getting my dose of happiness from people in the office.

Wylmer - I will never forget that yosi bonding session overlooking the creek. Tinuro mo yung "P40 Eat-All-You-Can" sa tapat at sinabi mong doon mo dadalhin ang date mo. Bagay sa "dukhang" lifesytle mo. Ang pangarap mong mag-artista at ang walang kamatayan mong kwento tungkol sa childhood mo (na hindi ka kinakarga nung bata ka, so kulang ka sa atensyon ngayon.) kwela ka talaga wylmeister! subalit ano ka na nga ngayon? isa ka ng ganap na supervisor trainee. taas ang kamay ko sayo! hindi ka na siguro dukha ngayon, baka mag-iba na ang lifestyle mo? pwede mo ng dalhin ang date mo sa McDo. mwehehehe. huwag kang makakalimot sa pinanggalingan mo...sana ay huwag ka din lamunin ng sistema.

Archie - one on one sessions over yosi, ang coco jam sandwich, coffee bonding session na pinapakinggan mo lang mga rants ko. hindi ka lang direct rep, isa kang kaibigan. madaling makasundo. may softie side din. para kang mentos, toughie on the outside but softie on the inside. inuman. intay ka lang, pre. pasasaan ba eh...aangat ka din. *wink*

DP - isa sa mga kakaunting totoong tao na nakilala ko sa PS. mapagkakatiwalaan. one on one inuman sa apartment at sa sizzling stop. has a way of keeping me sane and grounded. siya yung tipo ng kaibigan na kahit hindi mo makita ng matagal, pag nagtagpo ulit kayo walang pagbabago. you'll pick up from where you last left each other. cheers, tol!

Jinggay - kwela itong babaeng baklang 'to. never a dull moment ika nga. laging may nakahandang hirit sa lahat ng pagkakataon. bilib ako sa will power niya pagdating sa mga lalake, SSB na hindi. sa kanya ako natuto manood ng korean movies. siya yung laging nakakawitness ng pagiging mean ko sa mga fast food crew. tandaan mo, goya...pag umattend ka ng kasal ko, dapat naka make-up ka! hang in there, we'll get you where you wanna go. patience lang, anak. *big smile*

Lolo Randy - every sunday, pag wala akong ka-yosi siya ang nandiyan. this guy is often misconstrued by others pero para sakin, ok siyang tao. ive already proven the fact that he's the most sensitive guy na nakilala ko. sana lahat ng lalake kasing sensitive niya. this guy keeps me grounded also. minsan wrong timing sa paglambing...kasi mainit ang ulo ko most of the time. i think hindi niya alam na when he asks me how my day was or how i am, it makes my day (kahit bad timing). the right one will come along, stop making the wrong person right for you coz you're just wasting your time...hindi na yun magiging tama.

Five people. Five lives touching mine.
You make PS a better place to work in.
YOU ROCK!!!

Thanks!

One Tanga Day

After shift:
Rei and I met at Starbucks Greenbelt. I felt so stupid that day.
When it comes to handling my emotional instability, I turn to those whom I trust the most. It was a good relief to have poured out my angst to her. She was in a "tanga" situation too (admit it, girl) I guess that helped in realizing that I was luckier. I started making kwento why I felt so tanga (I was close to swearing off men in my life. wait...nasabi ko na ba yun dati?) lesson learned: don't trust people that easily.
When the mood was light, we started making kwento about all our katangahan sa buhay. Dunno kung bakit napunta sa turtles ang usapan pero I asked, "Pati ba yung shell ng turtle lumalaki kasabay niya?" Ang tanga ng question noh? Mas tanga kasi sinagot ako ni Paan, "Oo naman." *hand hits forehead*
We had lunch at Italianni's. Tuloy pa din ang usapang tanga. Tatlong tangang magkakaibigan nagsama-sama. How would you expect the day to turn out? Well, it was a very enlightening day for me. After realizing how stupid I was, I found myself in the comfort of friends who assured me that nothing was wrong with me. That I wasn't so tanga after all.

Random Thoughts....

- bakit ang convenient store may lock eh kung 24 hours naman siyang bukas?
- bakit ang hotdog sandwich wala namang dog?
- bakit ang hamburger walang ham?

Praning. Adik.

I Can't Make You Love Me

written by Mike Reid and Allen Shamblinas
originally performed by Bonnie Raitt
- i like George Michael's version better. Mas tagos sa laman ang pag kanta niya.
ouchie.

Turn down the lights
Turn down the bed
Turn down these voices
inside my head
Lay down with me
Tell me no lies
Just hold me close,
don't patronize
Don't patronize me

Cause I can't make you love me
if you don't
You can't make your heart feel
something it won't
Here in the dark
in these final hours
I will lay down my heart
And I'll feel the power
but you won't
No, you won't
Cause I can't make you love me
if you don't

I'll close my eyes
then I won't see
the love you don't feel
when you're holding me

Morning will come
and I'll do what's right
just give me till then
to give up this fight
and I will give up this fight

Cause I can't make you love me
if you don't
You can't make your heart feel
something it won't
Here in the dark
in these final hours
I will lay down my heart
And I'll feel the power
but you won't
No, you won't
Cause I can't make you love me
if you don't.

Blue Eyes Blue

Performed by Eric Clapton. OST ng Runaway Bride.
All time favorite pampaiyak song. swak!

I thought that you’d be loving me.
I thought you were the one who’d stay forever.
But now forever’s come and gone
And I’m still here alone.

’cause you were only playing,
You were only playing with my heart. (how true.)
I was never waiting,
I was never waiting for the tears to start.

It was you who put the clouds around me.
It was you who made the tears fall down.
It was you who broke my heart in pieces.
It was you, it was you who made my blue eyes blue.

Oh, I never should have trusted you.
I thought that I’d be all you need.
In your eyes I thought I saw my heaven.
And now my heaven’s gone away
And I’m out in the cold.

’cause you had me believing,
You had me believing in a lie. (how true?)
Guess I couldn’t see it,
I guess I couldn’t see it till I saw goodbye.

’cause you were only playing,
You were only playing with my heart.
I was never waiting,
I was never waiting for the tears to start.

It was you who put the clouds around me.It was you.

I Wish I Wasn't...

Para sa'yo 'to...

I’m home alone again
And you’re out, hanging with your friends
So you say, somehow I know it’s not quite that way
It’s getting pretty late and you haven’t checked on me all day
When I called you didn’t answer
Now I’m feeling like you’re ignoring me
And I wish, I could go back
To the day before we met and skip my regret

I wish I wasn’t in love with you
So you couldn’t hurt me
It just ain’t fair the way you treat me
No you don’t deserve me
Wasted my time thinking about you and you ain’t never gonna change
I wish I wasn’t in love with you
So I wouldn’t feel this way

When you touch me my heart melts
And everything you did wrong I forget
So you play me and take advantage
Of the love that I feel for you
Why you wanna hurt me so bad
I believed in you thats why I’m so mad
Now I’m drowning in disappointment, and it’s hard for me to even look at you
I wish I could go back
To the day before we met and skip my regret

Said you care about me, but from what I see
I ain’t feeling that, so I disagree
Gave you all my love and understanding and you treated me like your enemy
So leave me alone, don’t want nothing from you
Just go back where you came from this house is no longer your home
You can not never come no more

I hear you knocking at my door again
I’m wondering should I let you in
I open up the door and see the flowers for me so beautiful in your hands
You start begging me to take you back,I’ve always been a sucker for romance
And before you know it I can see, you’re all over me
Oh no here I go again

I wish I wasn’t in love with you so you couldn’t hurt me

My Little Corner: Week 2

- mahirap mag-isa sa bahay. yes, i do get home sick :c i miss my TV ( i really need to get a TV. pramis!) luto ni inay at si inay. he he. there's one person i don't miss though, my bro! mwehehehe
- isang time, hindi ko mabuksan yung mineral water bottle eh uhaw na uhaw na ko! i couldn't ask anyone for help. sobrang pinilit ko siya buksan para lang maka-inom. wawa.
- ipupull out na yung stove so hindi na ko nag-attempt na i-refill yung gas tank. mahirap pala. may food nga ako sa ref hindi ko naman maluto debah? so i just eat my meals sa labas or sa office. parang mas magastos yun ah.
- mahirap mag-budget ng pera! nahihirapan na ko noon kahit sa momi ko ako nakatira what more now?! ang dami na nag-give up na i-manage ang finances ko (shotie, im not proud of that. in fact i feel sad about it. kasi ayaw mo na ko tulungan ulit :c) this month, i had to spend my sweldo for the house. new things to start with plus the rent. buti na lang jeffie shouldered the electric bill (thanks, friend!) and shotie has been kind enough to pay for things here and there (thanks, shotie!). haay, what would i do without my friends?!
- until now, hindi pa din alam ng mom ko na akin ang apartment. what she knows is im living with an officemate kasi madaling araw ang shift ko kaya i need to stay somewhere near the office. ang hindi niya alam, nakabili na ko ng electric fan, kaldero, ref at kung anu-ano pa. ano na lang ang sasabihin niya pag nalaman niya yun?! haayyy...i still don't know how to break it to her.
On the good side, i am getting a kick out of living alone:
- i can go home anytime i want. hindi naman alam ni momi eh. hindi ko din kelangan magsabi kung uuwi ako or hindi (pwera lang on weekends pag hindi ako makakauwi sa house).
- hindi ko nakikita brother ko everyday! (namimiss niya kaya ako?)
- i can do whatever! (makapag-uwi nga ng lalake. hmmmm)
- sobrang convenient sa halos lahat. office, mall, hospital, church ( as if nagsisimba ako. maybe it's God's way of telling me na "hoy! matuto ka nga magsimba ulit!) naisip ko siya kanina kasi narinig ko sa labas yung misa....kaya lang umiral na naman ang katamaran ko. ooppss sorry po.
Sabi nga ng isang kaibigan, it just takes a little getting used to. i guess so. wala pa naman akong isang buwan mag-isa so i'll give it a shot. kaya pa naman so keri.

"Lagare"

*** Food Trip ***
- First time ko makarating sa Market!Market! (oo na, loser!) there were so many food stalls to choose from pero that one store carried my favorite food, kare-kare so that's where we ordered. it wasn't the best one yet pero since I was hungry, pwede na din. liempo wasn't that good either pero ika nga nila pag gutom ka, walang hindi masarap!
- brunch the next day was a trip down memory lane....back at philam halos araw-araw kung hindi LK, bistek pilipino ang lagi kong ino-order....sino ang hindi nami-miss ang QUICK STOMACH?(hindi ka tunay na GY-er ng NSI!)

***eto na ang LAGARE part***
- pagkatapos ng QA sessions ko, we went to Music21 for Jean's Listers team building. Hindi kumpleto ang mga ungas pero we enjoyed ourselves pa din. may bago akong na-discover...maganda pala ang boses ni Maricar! bumirit ng "If I Ain't Got You" at wala kameng nasabi. Napa-palakpak kameng lahat pagkatapos ng kanta! Si Goya naman, pinaandar ang pagiging adik, natipuhan ang male model ng video ng "You are the one...the only one...", pinause ang video at nagpapicture! upload daw niya sa website niya. Hunghang! Sobrang food trip ulit ako. nag order kame ng sandamakmak na nachos, nag crave ako bigla for chicharong bulaklak at nag-order ako ng krispy kangkong! tapos beer...ayus! We left at about 6pm.
- Baboy and I went to Grilla to celebrate the NSI Badminton Team's championship. Sabit lang ako, "date ni Jun", kasi lahat pala sila may mga kasama. they had 3K to spend but since busog pa ko, i didn't eat that much. although nang-trip na naman ako. ako lang yata ang kumain ng grilled tahong. At about 830pm, I had to leave. Hindi pa tapos ang gimik day ko.
- First time ko sa Nipa Hut. Highschool pa lang yata ako alam ko na yung lugar na yun. I used to pass by that area often so nakikita ko na siya but I've never been inside. (may friend ako nakatira malapit dun kaya ko siya alam, not because of the establishments surrouding it, ok?!) <-- defensive! Fax reps naman ang mga kasama ko. Another food trip, may isaw sa menu! nung oorder na ko, hindi daw available kasi sarado yung grill sa labas. lintek! sunod na inorder ko, pansit malabon. napakatagal nung order ko only to find out na wala din. hrmpht. i settled for their cheeseburger instead (ma'am wala pong cheese yung burger namen! 'lul!) tinakot na naman ako ni archie about lotus feet....ginatungan naman nung iba! dinamihan ko na lang yung inom para pagdating ko sa bahay, tulog agad! we left at about 1am.
- house na. that was a very tiring but fun day. went to sleep right away with no thoughts of Lotus Feet and Shutter. *burp*

My Little Corner

Exactly a week ago, i finally decided to move to my own place. A good friend decided to relocate to cebu so i moved in to his apartment soon after he left. Sis agreed to help me shop and clean the apartment as well. I couldn't believe i spent 5k in one day! for what?! barely nothing! it didn't even fill my cupboard :( i bought stuff for the kitchen, bathroom and bed. i also bought a new fan :) wow, can't believe im investing on appliances na.
- so when we got back to the apartment, sis ended up cleaning the kitchen. me? i tried to assemble my fan. i wasn't much help in cleaning so she told me to go get beer and ice. walang silbi.
- sis also cooked dinner (haay, sis. what would i do without you?) never ending kwento na naman about our respective lives. rants about men and family. at siempre, a bonding session with her would not be complete kung hindi siya iiyak. so there she went...sobbing. pero ok lang. sanay na ko. the same way she's sanay na with my ka-dramahan sa buhay.
- we ended drinking at about 4am na. had a hard time sleeping pa..namamahay. i woke up early the next day pero tuloy pa din ang pag rant ng sis ko (haay..kala ko tapos na) she had to go to work so naiwan na lang ako mag-isa. unfortunately, hindi ko tinuloy yung paglinis ng house. he he he.i slept lang.
-shotie came after lunch. he did most of the guy job.he fixed and replaced the doorknob, got us locked inside! (don't ask me how pero totoo yun. the door wouldn't budge open so we had to ask the caretaker to help. hee hee. sobrang jahe), and he fixed the fan. he even bought stuff that sis and i forgot to buy. baygon, pledge, rags etc. thanks, shotie!
- first night alone wasn't so bad. hmmmm.... well, i wasn't really alone, was i?


This is my mala motel na bed. Hi hi hi


This is the kitchen. Wala nga lang laman.

THINGS I CAN'T DO AWAY WITH AND WHY.

1. COFFEE! i need my dose of caffeine as often as possible. too bad it has to be that darn Starbucks coffee! also, when i'm at starbucks or any coffee shop that i frequent in, i'm able to think about my so-called life. am able to ponder on things like what i'm doing right now.
2. CIGARETTES!!! my scapegoat to everything! stress, problems and my everday dealings. pair it with coffee and it makes my life almost perfect.
3. CELLPHONE! it keeps me in touch with my family and friends. 'nuf said.
4. FOOD! aside from serving its basic purpose to my existence, the joy of being able to savor that sinful cajun chicken fingers at TGIF, pasta from Italliani's or Sbarro or just the plain 'ol chicken from KFC gives another reason to make life almost perfect.
5. MASSAGE!!! another heavenly pleasure i can't miss. i once read somewhere that everbody needs constant physical contact. if i can't get that through a significant other (which i lack right now!) my masseuse will do. no pun intended.
6. MALLS! i spend most of my waking days inside the mall. i'd rather spend time there than at home (don't ask me why). be it with friends or by myself, am able to find solace in greenbelt, glorietta or galleria (notice how they all start with "g"?)there.

These are the top 6 of things i can't do away with. care to share yours?

Ouch.

If you have to love, don't.
Especially if the one you're going to love doesn't love you back. Unrequited love must not fill a space in your existence.Unrequited love sucks, hurts and kills. If you find yourself thinking about someone, and his sweetness, although you know he's naturally sweet to all girls, and his sweetness to you doesn't mean anything, then don't think about him. Don't be too assuming that his checking out on you is a sign that he has a thing for you. Don't read between the lines of sweet text messages he sent to you. Don't dwell on the memories that you had with him, because most definitely, he is not dwelling on them, either. Don't fall for him. To fall in love with him will be an awful blow to your vulnerable emotions. Because surprise, surprise, he doesn't reciprocate the feelings. He is just sweet, remember? If you think you're crushing on someone who seems to be having a thing for your friend, and your friend seems to be crushing on the guy too bigtime, take the backseat. Don't squeeze yourself in the picture. Boogie out the scene that is designated for only the two of them. At this point, don't take the risk of falling for the guy in hope that maybe it's not your friend he's attracted with, but you. That won't work.Assuming that someone loves you is the most stupid reason for propelling oneself to love. So don't assume. And if it happens that you really don't, but you have the urge to love the guy anyway, because whoa, the guy is a catch, try your hardest to control the feeling.The worst thing that can happen is finding yourself very heartbroken from seeing your friend and your prospect together. If you are totally crushing on a co-worker, ang you're nothing but his friend whom you take on his work for him, just for his sake, then for the love of yourself, bop yourself until you realize that you have to let go of that co-worker. Don't skip work because you're afraid you're going to see the two of them sitting beside each other. Look at the guy in a different light, say, notice how he doesn't match up to your ideal guy standard anyway, because he dresses so lousily. Something like that. For pete's sake, it's just a crush you say. But dear, more often than not, crush leads to love. Better stop now than endure a thousandfold pain later. Love is the sweetest thing, I know. It's the greatest feeling. That is, if the one you love loves you back. There can't be anything better than that. But if the situation is wherein you're falling for someone who just considers you as a friend,that's a different story. As much as possible, evade from those heart-wrenching situations. Love is hard to control, but try anyway. Give your best shot at falling out of love. You're lucky if you detect the absurdity and the pain of unrequited love right away, because it spares you from going through a lot of hell. All you have to do is simply occupy yourself with other things. Have fun with your life. You will fall soon, and this time, you will not get hurt, because he will reciprocate the feeling. It will not be now, but it will come in due time. Love is all about sacrifice, giving one's self freely, with no strings attached, you say. Hell, I know that. I know love is supposed to work that way. Love is really supposed to hurt, but that's what makes love love. But this is my stand. And I know you respect that.
Love has pained me so much to actually believe that it is better to have not loved at all.

27 years. Phew!

thanks to those who remembered my birthday. here are the reasons why it was extra special:
- a friend has been making me kulit for weeks as to what gift i wanted for my birthday. so finally i told him but i said he didn't have to be the one to do it coz it had to be a surprise. told him i'd ask him for something else. knowing how pasaway he is, he still gave me the gift. he was the first pa to greet me. thanks, shotie.
- i sent a birthday wish email to my kids. asked them if we could top the conversion rating for that day. then cang texted me asking what i wanted from starbucks. "hindi man tayo mag-top today, at least you have a gift." heart.
- i was about to feel sad coz i didn't beat my record for the number of birthday texts i got last year. i was short of about 12 messages (sigh.) so i decided to go with shotie for some errands. i thought my day would end there tapos uuwi na lang ako at tutulugan ang birthday ko. pero pinagbigyan ako ni shotie, as he always does, so we stayed at starbucks leviste. we used to frequent that branch, na-miss ko yun. we weren't talking...we were just staring. siya sa left ako sa right then straight at him. he went on trying to read me...napunta kame sa pagiging virgo ko. i'm not so into zodiac signs but i listened anyway. then he started writing on starbucks tissue (oops, i must remember to get you that journal)... i also grabbed a pen and an old receipt and started writing my own sentiments. turned out the tissue was for me. he told me not to read it yet but i did as soon as i got in the cab. i smiled after reading it then texted him everything that i wrote on my receipt. six messages that jived with what he wrote on the tissue.
- that night when i went to work, found out my team topped the most number of sales generated that day! woohoo!
so it wasn't a bad birthday. for the past 3 years, i would spend my birthday with a friend. first was in his apartment, second was in gloria jeans, third was in italliani's. this year he wasn't available. i understand, friend. you have issues of your own. although next year, i doubt if we can spend it together too...you'll be in cebu na. in any case i still got to spend it with another good friend although muntik na tayo mag-away.
happy birthday, MeanJean!

Currently in need of...

"Someone To Watch Over Me"

There's a saying old, says that love is blind

Still we're often told, "seek and ye shall find"

So I'm going to seek a certain lad I've had in mind

Looking everywhere, haven't found him yet

He's the big affair I cannot forget

Only man I ever think of with regret
I'd like to add his initial to my monogram

Tell me, where is the shepherd for this lost lamb?

There's a somebody I'm longin' to see

I hope that he, turns out to be

Someone who'll watch over me
I'm a little lamb who's lost in the wood

I know I could, always be good

To one who'll watch over me

Although he may not be the man some

Girls think of as handsome

To my heart he carries the key
Won't you tell him please to put on some speed

Follow my lead, oh, how I need someone to watch over me

(bridge)

Won't you tell him please to put on some speed

Follow my lead, oh, how I need

Someone to watch over me

Someone to watch over me

My Purpose In Life -- not.

Disclaimer: This entry was not intended to set guilt feelings to anybody. This is a mere expression of what I am feeling right now.

After a long hiatus, I'm back to blogging. At least for now because I cannot find any outlet. hee hee

For the past couple of days I seem to have been putting too much attention on other people when in fact I need some attention too. Reps ko kelangan tutukan, otherwise babagsak na naman team performance namen. Friends ko may mga issues na kelangan harapin.

Do you ever get the feeling that the whole world is on your shoulders? That almost everyone is depending on you for almost all of their concerns? Be it from small things such as what food to eat or to life-changing decisions that they need to make. I've felt that several times and I cannot believe how I endured that feeling. Don't get me wrong, I honestly don't mind but sometimes it gets too tiring. I don't even have time to think of myself. Come to think of it, it's been a long time since I had a "me" time. The only "me" time I get is when I'm in bed sleeping. Hell, I don't get much of that as well!

Anyway, I was travelling home the other day and I was staring into space! I kept thinking about other people's problems, issues, hang-ups and what nots. At home, I have to deal with my mom and other family issues that even I cannot solve by myself so why bother?! At work, I have my agents to think about. Friends I have to deal with and client-related issues that I need to face.

Maraming beses ko nang tinanong, "Bakit ko ba ginagawa to sa sarili ko?" Why do i sacrifice so much for other people? Then i got an instant realization. Maybe that's my purpose in life. To be there for others. Maybe. Maybe not. I dunno. I'm too tired to think right now.

Words for the Day:

salacious - lustful
mendacious - dishonest
pernicious - deadly

Bounce Back

Things I Will Miss Most About My Friend
- lunches after shift; Mangan, Chicken Inasal, HotShots, Mongolian sa Food Choices, Ebun, 9F, Enterprise
- window shopping sa Glorietta
- after shift movies
- grocery sa Landmark (kahit nakabuntot lang ako sayo)
- weekends in Galleria or Megamall (regular agenda: lunch, movie, ikot, yosi, uwe 0 tapos ikaw may shift pa)
- Redbox or IO (kahit nilalait mo pagkanta ko)
- yosi sa Starbucks G4 (with my forever "last yosi" hirit)
- tambay sa Valero (after lunch yosi)
- scouting for clothes for you
- trips to the salon (kahit ikaw lang ang magpapagupit)
- long talks about your life, my life (childhood, trips - that's how we actually got to know each other)
- that Survivor Galera trip
- my first Galera trip with our shiftmates

These and more I really miss, especially when you leave. Like what I said, whatever decision you will make, I'll be all the way behind you. I understand why you need to do that, I won't take that against you. While you are there, try not to commit the same mistakes coz it will all be meaningless. As always, never compromise your principles. As long as you know that what you are doing is correct, even if others disagree, by all means go for it. Never put so much effort into something that its failure could cause you your happiness. Remember, "me" first before others.
I'll still be here when you come back. TM or not.

I love you, my friend.

Who Do You Tell?

There you were in a crowded room
With someone at least I assumed
How did I know I would fall in love
With you so soon
Just one look in your eyes
And I see the truth
And I try hard to hide that I'm made for you
But I know deep inside things that we could do
Just as long as we're together
But...
[Chorus:]
Who do you tell when you love someone
Hoping that someone's in love with you
Who do you tell when you love someone
I think I might as well tell you

I can't believe that I feel this way
There is so much that I want to say
I wanna touch you, hold you,
feel you, please you
As we're making love all through the night
We would talk to each other
We would laugh and play
We would claim it's forever every night and day
We would share every minute 'til the test of time
In my mind
[Chorus:2x]
Who do you tell when you love someone
Hoping that someone's in love with you
Who do you tell when you love someone
I think I might as well tell you
[Bridge:]
I've hesitated much too many times
And I won't let you slip away from me no
I know you're for me
And me for you
But I don't know what to say or to do
So now that we're together I'm telling you
[Chorus repeat:]
Who do you tell when you love someone
Hoping that someone's in love with you
Who do you tell when you love someone
I think I might as well tell you

Changes In My Life

Everyday I try to pick up lessons from my interaction with other people. Especially from those whom I have high regards for and those whom I value.

- it's annoying to shove food on other people's face
- when you want to say something, say it directly. people are not mind readers.
- no one can help you but yourself. yes you have problems but the whole world will not stop revolving just for you. you have to stand up on your own.
- don't rely on other people too much. don't be so dependent on other people.
- sometimes, i can accept a plain yes or no answer. explanation/elaboration not required.
- if the people (or person for that matter) i expect to be there for me are (is) not there, i have other friends whom i can rely on. bottomline is, do not build your world around one person.
- my support group is bigger than i thought.
- there's really no such thing as losing friends...they're just there only sometimes, they're not available when you need them. but i've learned to be more understanding.
- i've learned how to say no... to urges, to temptation... sometimes i feel guilty but i know it's for the better. maybe not for me but for someone else.

i'm far from becoming the person that i want to be but i'm getting there.

R O A D T R I P - literal!

after shift:
ni-log out ako ni jinggay sa pc. wala akong nagawa! buti na lang na-save ko na lahat ng excel files ko kung hindi ipapaulit ko sa kanya lahat yun! saan ang punta? tagaytay daw! hala! sige..sama naman ako!!
1st stop:
Petron - bumili ng kung anu-ano. nagyosi. nag mcdo strawberry float. after almost an hour, na-excite sa "picnic" so we decided to leave.
on the way...ang trip namen senti songs. parang suicide to be inside that car! kanya-kanyang personal issues. kanya-kanyang relate sa mga kanta. may isa naiyak pa sa kasentihan. tsk.
2nd stop:
Tagaytay, Picnic Grove - manok ni gay, lumpia ni goya, coke at sandamakmak na chips! ok na sana pero....walang KANIN! dinasal namen na sana umulan ng kanin pero ayaw ni lord. so pinagtiisan na lang namen papakin ang manok at lumpia. may dumaan na ale...manghuhula daw siya. sa halagang 40 pesos...literally hinulaan nga niya si cai at gay. hmmm.."love lyt"?...."ang married mo"? anubayun?! nagpapatawa yata si manang. nung dumapo yung higad kay cai...napagdesisyunan namen na kelangan na namen umalis bago kami ubusin ng sangkatutak na insekto sa park! oooppppsss...bago yun, shopping muna! tambay ulit sa side walk...jinggay eating penoy...gay eating balut (ah eh..wala tayo sa philam).
3rd stop:
Leslie's - gay: "jinggay, napakababa niyan! kung malaglag ka man mapipilayan ka lang hindi ka mamamatay!" tawid! kelangan namen magpapicture nang maganda ang view so we stayed there. uminom ng shake, nagkwentuhan at umalis din agad! na-excite naman mag-EK. jinggay ang cai with the poso-faucet ( leche! props lang pala yung poso.)
on the way to EK... senti tripping na naman. gay's ipod came in handy. kanya-kanyang tingin sa labas ng bintana....gay: "AAAAAAAHHHHHHH! GUMAGALAW SIYA!" sabay turo sa kanan! ang wheel of fortune este faith (tama ba?) gumagalaw daw. ibig sabihin bukas ang EK!!!
4th stop:
Enchanted Kingdom - "everyday..everyday..the magic is here..." we had 2 hours lang to enjoy kasi magsasara pala ito ng 7pm. roller coaster...anchor's away...log jam - medyo nabasa lang kame ng konti...keri lang! rio grande - potah! "basang-basa sa ulan...." we were dripping wet! at hindi pa nakuntento..."one more! one more!" ako pa din at si jinggay ang napuruhan ng lintek na water falls na yan! ang lamiiiiggg!!! di pa kame nakuntento sa lamig..nagpunta pa kame sa parang horror theater...namimisik pa ng tubig ang walanghiya! di ako natutuwa. mga 15 minutes yung film showing...after that we rode wheel of faith..tama ba? yung madaming-madaming swing! in fairness natuyo naman ang buhok ko. last ride ay sa malaking-malaking ferris wheel! sa tuktok...may i sigaw pa ko ng "i love you ----!!!" feeling ko naman aabot ng makati yung sinigaw ko. haaaayyyy...
we had our last picture then lumabas kame na happy and sad. happy coz we had fun naman talaga. sad kasi aalis na kame. it was fun being a kid again.
5th stop:
Walter Mart - kelangan namen magbihis unless gusto namen magka pneumonia. so punta kame sa department store..hala..kanya-kanya ng hanap ng damit. i spent 1k for a complete wardrobe! not bad ah *wink.
6th stop:
Petron (or was that Caltex) sa SLEX - gutom na ang mga tao so we had dinner first. kwento-kwento. parang walang humpay na kwentuhan ang nangyari... nicest gasoline station baño i've ever been to. ganda!
last stop:
ah eh..back to the office na po ang lola niyo. di ko na nakayanan umuwi pa. direcho trabaho ito! talk about lagare!
haaayyy..that was a fun day. kahit nakakapagod...masaya naman. next time ulit ah!

Morning Shift

Haaaayyy.....

I was assigned to cover nesting for the new batch of trainees and it so happened that their shift was in the morning so I had to be in the AM shift as well. Hmmmm....mukhang nag-enjoy ako. Parang ayoko na bumalik sa GY.

PROs

- mas may chance to have a life (sabi nga ni bonito). may night life na ko.
- complete, normal sleep (as in tulog sa gabi, gising sa umaga). hindi na baligtad ang mundo ko
- iwas conflict (sa kanya at sa KANYA!)
- less toxic kasi konti lang ang nangyayari sa AM

CONs

- walang night shift allowance
- lagi akong late dahil 5am pa lang....traffic na sa probinsya namen (lintik!)
- i'm forced to go home late kasi pag dating ng 5pm...pucha napaka traffic sa makati!
- more gastos. breakfast, lunch and dinner ang kelangan ko bilin. unlike sa gy...dinner at kape lang ayos na!
- hindi ko na makakasama ang GY friends ko. yosi sa valero ng madaling araw. maglalakad sa gitna ng kalsada nang hindi nag aalala kung masasagasaan. upo sa sidewalk.


Hmmmm.....ano pa kaya? wala na ko maisip. Pero gustuhin ko man, hindi yata ako papayagan ng boss ko. madugo ang gumawa ng schedule. hassle.

Sige....stay na lang ako sa GY. Sanayan lang yan!

Pwe.

Eh Ano Kung Masungit Ako?!

I have this really weird feeling. Na parang gusto mo na lang bumigay? Na kahit anong laban ang gawin mo, talo ka lang palagi? What if hindi na lang ako mag-isip kung tama ba o mali ang gagawin at sasabihin ko? Sometimes I wonder what if kahit anong maisipan ko pwede kong gawin? Walang magagalit. Walang masasaktan. Walang masasagasaan.

Siguro ganito:

- sasabihin ko sa pagmumukha niya na napakasama ng ugali niya. na hindi uubra sakin yung pangmamando niya. ipamumukha ko sa kanya na pantay lang kame. wala akong balak makipag-agawan sa minimithi niyang posisyon so wag niya akong hihilain pababa para lang maka-angat siya. sasabihin ko sa kanya na ang pathetic ng buhay niya.

- hindi ko lang sila papansinin. na kahit anong explain nila, isa lang ang iisipin ko, hindi nila pinahahalagahan ang ibig sabihin ng "team". hindi ko na lang sila papakialaman. eh ano kung bagsak QA niyo? eh ano kung na-NCNS ka? eh ano kung may sakit ka at hindi ka makakapasok? eh ano kung maglalunch ka na? eh ano kung kulang ang sinuweldo mo? eh ano kung mataas AHT mo? bahala ka sa buhay mo! diskarte mo na yan!

- haharapin ko siya at tatanungin ang million dollar question...."are you..you know?" (with the hand gesture na..alam mo na)

Kaya lang ganito:

- may pinag-aralan akong tao. wala sa katauhan ko na mang-bastos sa kapwa ko. mas gugustuhin ko pa ngayon na tumahimik na lang. hindi na lang ako magsasalita para wala ng masabi ang ibang tao. hahayaan ko na lang na ibang tao ang magsabi kung sino sa amin ang may mas masamang ugali. hahayaan ko na lang siyang ma-karma tutal digital na rin daw ito ngayon (kaya lang bakit pag sa kanya ang tagal?)

- hindi ko kayang pabayaan ang trabaho ko at sila. una, kelangan kong gampanan ang resposibilidad ko sa kumpanyang nagpapasweldo sa akin. pangalawa, hindi ko naman talaga matitiis ang mga mokong na to (sana ay natatawa na lang kayo). pero sana lang po Lord, mag-kusa sila. sana po ay hindi na nila ako bigyan ng sakit ng ulo on top of mga dati ko nang sakit ng ulo. sana po ay ma-realize nila na i can only do so much. the rest would have to come from them. at sana po ay matutunan din nilang mag-ingat na walang mapuna sa kanila ang iba kong kasamahan para hindi ako mahirapang ipagtanggol sila. higit sa lahat...sana po ay wala ng pasaway sa kanila at sa mga ibang darating pa. yun lang!

- ito ang hindi ko talaga kakayanin kasi ako lang ang masasaktan. kasi... mahal ko siya. potah! sana ay hindi niya ito mabasa. yun lang!

Bottomline, I'm still a good person. No matter how you view my superficial attributes as otherwise, my good side will still prevail. I'd like to think that we often misjudge other people at first but as you dig deeper into the core of that person, the more you'll get to know and love him.

so pwede ba? tama na ang mga pang-aasar na napaka-sungit ko?! ganito na lang...kung kaya ko magtaray sa'yo at maging malambing right after, consider yourself as my friend. owtei?

Nyek!

Biglang naiba ang skin. Ano nangyari?! Naging pa-cute naman!

New BLOG

So finally I decided to create a new blog. Pero pakshet ang hirap. I can't remember those sites where I could get those artsy fartsy thingamajigs that i can use to make this more appealing. Haaayyy...

Makes me wonder, totoo yata yung sinabi nila about me. I like to start things but I can never get to finish them. In this case, hindi ko kaya panindigan. I get that synergized feeling whenever a novice idea pops in my head. Excited ako simulan. Pero pag nasa kalagitnaan na, bigla na lang ako bumibitaw para humanap ng ibang gagawin. Is that bad? I dunno. I guess ayoko lang ng masyadong nagtatagal sa isang task. Lalo na yung pauli-ulit, yung nakakabagot na. I guess in a way it's bad kasi madaming pending. Madaming unfinished business. Eh ano magagawa ko? Madali ako magsawa. Go figure.

So, back to this new project. Iwan ko na lang kayang ganito? Pitch black. Parang buhay ko ngayon. Walang kulay (eww). Haynaku...lecheng LIP kasi yan. Masyado akong naapektuhan. It wasn't supposed to be this way. Dapat steady lang. Panonoorin ko lang kasi na-curious ako dun sa nakita ko sa TV at kay Goya. Medyo nadala ako ng todo. Lahat na lang konektado sa napanood kong Koreanovela. Anobuzz.

Tignan na lang natin kung magkakakulay pa itong blog na to.

Currently listening to: Now That I Have You (potah! wala na nga eh!)
- song na ayaw ako ka-duet ni Jeffie. Sinisira ko daw yung melody. Hrpmht.

UNDER CONSTRUCTION
Please check back later. . . . . .